No one in the Sack is ever pleased to see a June bug. The insects are attracted to porch lights and they make a lot of clicking noises as they stumble about. They also make an audible crunching sound when they're stepped upon.
An errant June bug once landed on Little Doug's shoulder while we sat on his porch. Oscar, Weed and your agent were having a quiet evening drink, when Little Doug suddenly stood up and began doing a crazy dance. In the midst of his dance, he pulled his shirt over the top of his head. Apparently, he thought the June bug had gone down the back of his shirt.
Little Doug is a little bit on the portly side. He's also not a man accustomed to being shirtless in front of others. But Little Doug is not a big fan of June bugs, either. Within seconds, he was standing topless at the foot of his porch stairs. This is where he was when his daughter, Daisy pulled into their driveway.
Daisy looked at us and then at her father. Then she asked why her father was standing topless while the rest of us were sitting on the porch.
Oscar told her we had paid Little Doug ten dollars for the chance to see his nipples. Daisy said we had paid far too much for the privilege.
***
The front lawn of Burning Manor has seen better days.
There is no grass to speak of. Dandelions have taken root with confidence. There are several spots where there is nothing but dirt.
On Friday afternoon, a small truck appeared in Burning Manor's driveway. It was from the restoration company that has been deeply involved in the erection of the replacement house. Oscar tells me the outfit was hired by the insurance company handling Dirk and Dora's claim.
Apparently the restoration firm arrived to do some work on Burning Manor's lawn.
To the dismay of Sack residents, the company finished its work in only fifteen minutes. Needless to say, the restoration of the outdoor part of Burning Manor doesn't appear to be part of the insurance deal after all.
As Gordon stated later, it looks like we're going to have another "permanent eyesore" on our hands.
***
Various vehicles attended to the rebuilding of Burning Manor. They left some deep tire tracks on its front lawn. In total, this area was about four square feet in size. The workers from the restoration company shoveled some soil onto this area. Then some new sod was rolled into place.
This marked the end of the outdoor restoration of Burning Manor. It appears they have no intention of doing anything more to it.
So now Burning Manor has four square feet of new grass. The rest of the yard, as Oscar put it, looks like a recently-cleared mine field.
***
Elizabeth was particularly miffed about this development.
She was expecting Burning Manor to be completely landscaped and beautified. She also expected the restoration company would repair the tire tracks that ran along the side of her driveway. The trucks associated with the rebuilding of Burning Manor had caused this as well.
Oscar says it's unlikely that Elizabeth can get any more miffed about Dirk and Dora than she is now. She has, as Oscar described it, reached her "maximum level of miffness."
He could be right about that.
***
Ben and Norma are sometimes privy to inside information on the fortunes of Dirk and Dora. Apparently, Norma knows someone from Tuesday night bingo who's well acquainted with Dora.
Not surprisingly, the latest news suggests that Dirk and Dora are upset with their insurance company. Apparently, the company has been very stingy during the reconstruction of the house. They've also been reluctant to replace the contents of the old house.
According to Norma, most of the contents destroyed in the fire actually belonged to Dora. Since she doesn't own the house with Dirk or have any personal insurance of her own, the insurance company will only pay out a small amount to replace the contents.
Gordon is praying that Dirk will simply decide to sell the house.
***
The other bit of news about Dirk and Dora is somewhat disconcerting.
Apparently, the young relative of Dora's who was staying with them at the time of the fire is supposed to be moving back into the new house with them. Burning Manor was torched, according to conventional old town wisdom, because this young woman was mixed up in some nasty shenanigans.
One can only hope that a second fire is not in the cards.
***
If a second fire does take place, Elizabeth vows that it might have something to do with a white Pontiac Sunfire.
Just before midnight on Saturday, she saw this car arrive in front of Burning Manor. The only occupant of the car walked over to the house and began peering into both the front and rear windows.
After a few minutes, the man drove away.
***
Elizabeth wrote down the license plate of the car.
When she finally sees Dirk, she's going to ask him if he knows anyone who owns such a car. Then she says she's going to rip a strip or two off Dirk for an increasingly long list of sins.
Elizabeth is very good at ripping strips off people.
***
2 comments:
Perhaps Elizabeth should spend one nocturnal egression moving that sod from BM over to her house. I'm sure Dirk & Dora wouldn't notice the difference.
Yeharr
I'm sure she has considered this, but her high moral standards would prevent her from stealing the sod herself.
Of course, her high moral standards are not high enough to stop her from asking someone to do it for her. But I think she's still licking her wounds after Gordon caught her with the weed killer. . . of course, you're correct in suggesting that Dirk and Dora wouldn't notice anyway. . .
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