The press conference continued. Poised in the trees off the Wonders' back deck, a flock of American Goldfinches acted as my audience. Once again, they sang out their questions simultaneously. It was impossible to make sense of anything. "If you aren't going to be civilized," I said with authority, "this press conference will be over."
An immediate hush descended on the trees. After a few seconds, a sharply coiffed goldfinch in the front row sang out his question. A press pass tucked under his right wing identified him as a correspondent for the dreadful Finch News Network.
I made a great show of ignoring him.
Seizing the moment, another bird chirped in with a different question. It was actually a Pine Siskin. Sometimes they hang out with goldfinches.
"Come again?" I replied, making eye contact with the bird.
Realizing that she held the floor, the Pine Siskin cleared her little throat and sang, "Are there any new residents in the Sack?"
***
During a midweek morning last June, a small cube van entered the Sack and backed into Gordon's driveway. A few moments later, a car arrived and pulled in behind the van.
Oscar, who works from home, was sitting on the steps of his front porch when the vehicles arrived. He said he was taking a well deserved break at the time. It was far more likely that he was taking a break from lying on his couch.
According to Oscar, two young men emerged from the cube van. Gordon and his girlfriend, Gordette got out of the car. One of the young men opened the back of the van. It contained a number of boxes, pieces of furniture and other personal effects.
It didn't take long for Oscar to realize what was happening. Gordette was moving in with Gordon. It was her first day as a new, permanent resident of the Sack.
Oscar, who works from home, was sitting on the steps of his front porch when the vehicles arrived. He said he was taking a well deserved break at the time. It was far more likely that he was taking a break from lying on his couch.
According to Oscar, two young men emerged from the cube van. Gordon and his girlfriend, Gordette got out of the car. One of the young men opened the back of the van. It contained a number of boxes, pieces of furniture and other personal effects.
It didn't take long for Oscar to realize what was happening. Gordette was moving in with Gordon. It was her first day as a new, permanent resident of the Sack.
***
About two years ago, Gordon's marriage came to an abrupt end. His wife had secured a new job out west. She decided to leave Gordon and their marriage behind.
This wasn't a great surprise to most Sack observers. Order and conformity are very important to Gordon. His fervent attention to his home and property is almost legendary. His former wife's nature, on the other hand, was more relaxed. She had other, more varied interests.
It probably didn't help that Gordon often rubs others the wrong way. He tends to hold people to his own standards. Not surprisingly, this leads to conflict in diverse settings.
These characteristics, as well as his irksome efforts as the Grand Poohbah of the Sack Residents Society, have earned him a reputation as a bit of a dink.
Over time, it appeared that his former spouse came to the same conclusion.
This wasn't a great surprise to most Sack observers. Order and conformity are very important to Gordon. His fervent attention to his home and property is almost legendary. His former wife's nature, on the other hand, was more relaxed. She had other, more varied interests.
It probably didn't help that Gordon often rubs others the wrong way. He tends to hold people to his own standards. Not surprisingly, this leads to conflict in diverse settings.
These characteristics, as well as his irksome efforts as the Grand Poohbah of the Sack Residents Society, have earned him a reputation as a bit of a dink.
Over time, it appeared that his former spouse came to the same conclusion.
***
Gordon clearly struggled in the months that followed the end of his marriage. It took some time for him to find his stride again. It didn't take too long, however, before he met Gordette.
After Sack residents had some exposure to Gordette, it became clear to that she shares many of Gordon's values and characteristics. In fact, this is how she earned her moniker in the first place. Ben's wife, Norma calls them "two peas in a pod." Oscar says they're "cut from the same cloth."
I think we're running seriously short of metaphors around here.
In Gordette's mind, the accident was Little Doug's fault. He thought otherwise, noting that he was watching The Dog Whisperer on television at the time of the accident. A caustic verbal exchange ensued.
In the end, the matter was resolved. Gordette, however, had already proven that her union with Gordon was a match made in heaven.
After Sack residents had some exposure to Gordette, it became clear to that she shares many of Gordon's values and characteristics. In fact, this is how she earned her moniker in the first place. Ben's wife, Norma calls them "two peas in a pod." Oscar says they're "cut from the same cloth."
I think we're running seriously short of metaphors around here.
***
Not long after meeting Gordon, Gordette had a nasty run-in with Little Doug. He had the temerity to park his truck along the Sack's centre circle. Gordette backed her car out of Gordon's driveway and promptly dinged the side of Little Doug's pickup truck.In Gordette's mind, the accident was Little Doug's fault. He thought otherwise, noting that he was watching The Dog Whisperer on television at the time of the accident. A caustic verbal exchange ensued.
In the end, the matter was resolved. Gordette, however, had already proven that her union with Gordon was a match made in heaven.
***
Gordette has been living in the Sack for almost nine months. As Oscar puts it, she has only shown up our collective radar screen on a few occasions.
The most recent time was only a few weeks ago. She gave young Doo a proper, public scolding in the midst of the Sack's centre circle. Using a baseball bat, he had been striking a metal pole attached to a "No Parking" sign. He had been doing this repeatedly for about fifteen minutes. He was making an awful racket.
Gordette's appearance on the scene was actually welcomed by other Sack residents. Big Doug said he was considering a chainsaw when Gordette approached the boy. He said he was going to cut the baseball bat into sawdust. Oscar said he was thinking about chasing Doo with a chainsaw.
In a strong, even voice, Gordette ordered the boy to cease and desist with the baseball bat. He quickly recognized her formidable demeanour. When the sharp lecture was over, he turned on his heels and marched down the street toward his house, dragging the bat behind him.
The most recent time was only a few weeks ago. She gave young Doo a proper, public scolding in the midst of the Sack's centre circle. Using a baseball bat, he had been striking a metal pole attached to a "No Parking" sign. He had been doing this repeatedly for about fifteen minutes. He was making an awful racket.
Gordette's appearance on the scene was actually welcomed by other Sack residents. Big Doug said he was considering a chainsaw when Gordette approached the boy. He said he was going to cut the baseball bat into sawdust. Oscar said he was thinking about chasing Doo with a chainsaw.
In a strong, even voice, Gordette ordered the boy to cease and desist with the baseball bat. He quickly recognized her formidable demeanour. When the sharp lecture was over, he turned on his heels and marched down the street toward his house, dragging the bat behind him.
***
It was appropriate 
that Gordette was the one to intercede when Doo was clanging his bat against the metal pole of the "No Parking" sign.
Not long after her accident with Little Doug, the old town's civic workers arrived and erected a sign on opposite sides of the Sack's centre circle. It was no longer legal to park where Little Doug's pickup truck was located when the accident occurred.
Some Sack residents were perturbed by the sudden appearance of the signs. Parking along the circle was handy when visitors arrived or when they were in a hurry. Some people wondered why they weren't consulted about the signs.
At the time, Gordon was in frequent contact with the local city councillor about other Sack-related matters. However, he denied any knowledge of the old town's decision to install the signs.
Eventually, the matter was forgotten.
Mrs. Wonders had occasion to engage in a lengthy conversation with Gordette. Apparently, she's thrilled to be sharing her life with Gordon. She's also looking forward to helping Sack residents in dealing with the old town about various civic matters. She said everyone will be happy to know that she has some unique skills and experience in this area. This is because she has worked in an administrative capacity for the old town for the last fifteen years.
As evidence of her prowess, Gordette nudged Mrs. Wonders' arm and said, "Who do you think got us those "No Parking" signs?"
that Gordette was the one to intercede when Doo was clanging his bat against the metal pole of the "No Parking" sign.Not long after her accident with Little Doug, the old town's civic workers arrived and erected a sign on opposite sides of the Sack's centre circle. It was no longer legal to park where Little Doug's pickup truck was located when the accident occurred.
Some Sack residents were perturbed by the sudden appearance of the signs. Parking along the circle was handy when visitors arrived or when they were in a hurry. Some people wondered why they weren't consulted about the signs.
At the time, Gordon was in frequent contact with the local city councillor about other Sack-related matters. However, he denied any knowledge of the old town's decision to install the signs.
Eventually, the matter was forgotten.
***
Before Christmas, however, there was an small gathering of Sack residents at Big Doug's house. It was a low-key, drop-in affair to celebrate the holiday season. Gordon and Gordette were in attendance.Mrs. Wonders had occasion to engage in a lengthy conversation with Gordette. Apparently, she's thrilled to be sharing her life with Gordon. She's also looking forward to helping Sack residents in dealing with the old town about various civic matters. She said everyone will be happy to know that she has some unique skills and experience in this area. This is because she has worked in an administrative capacity for the old town for the last fifteen years.
As evidence of her prowess, Gordette nudged Mrs. Wonders' arm and said, "Who do you think got us those "No Parking" signs?"
***
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