Talk to the Animals

Humans are not the only creatures in the Sack.

There are, of course, the various pets belonging to residents. Outside of cats and dogs, this would probably include goldfish, hamsters and guinea pigs. I can only really guess about such things.

I'm told that young Doo once owned a pet mouse. I'm also told he had it for several days before his mom found out about it. Most people are fairly certain he doesn't have it anymore.

Then there are the wild creatures that live in and around the Sack. Thankfully, there aren't any lions, tigers or bears.

There was a deer sighting once. It was laid out in the back of a pick-up truck after one of Little Doug's annual hunting trips. Sack vegetarians were appalled.

But mostly, there are birds and raccoons . . . .

***

After dinner, Mrs. Wonders and I enjoy tea and watch Bird TV.

Bird TV isn't part of the old town's digital cable service. We cancelled the service after The Sopranos ended. In fact, Bird TV isn't found on the television at all. Instead, it's found on the Wonders' back deck. The viewer sits at the kitchen table and directs his attention through the patio doors. He'll have a perfect view of the bird feeders that line the adjacent deck railing.

The action at the feeders often resembles the lobby of a busy downtown hotel. At times, guests will come and go at a frenetic pace. On other occasions, they linger for a while, though in far smaller numbers.

The most frequent visitors are from the finch family: American Goldfinches, Purple Finches, House Finches and Pine Siskins. There are also Dark-eyed Juncos, although they prefer to feed on the ground, rather than the actual feeders.

Another welcome regular is the tiny, but muscular Black-capped Chickadee. It flits about with incredible dexterity as it undulates quickly from branch to feeder and then back again. It's also very bold, as it's one of the few small birds to feed despite the presence of a larger species.

If you are very still and calm, a Black-capped Chickadee might eat directly from your hand. It's a very confident little creature.

***

If there was such a thing as reincarnation and I had to return to Earth as a bird, I would prefer to do so as a Black-capped Chickadee.

Very few people know this about me.

***

There is a pecking order on Bird TV.

Generally, the bigger the bird is, the more room it warrants on the feeder. The ill-regarded European Starling arrives in a small flock from time to time. The smaller birds must make themselves scarce.

A few pigeons also visit periodically. They'll go about their feeding business despite the presence of the starlings. Generally, they seem to stay out of each other's way.

Sometimes, both the starlings and pigeons will be chased away by either myself or Mrs. Wonders. Starlings and pigeons are not held in high esteem by people who notice birds. Apparently, there are some good reasons for this. But it still doesn't feel quite right to discriminate against them.

But we do it anyway.

***

A pair of Mourning Doves also visit the feeder. They tend to be very skittish around others, especially humans.

A Mourning Dove is really just a fancy pigeon. But they tend to be viewed as more acceptable than the more conventional Rock Pigeon.

The pigeon world, it seems, is a very complex one.

***

The undisputed king of Bird TV is the mighty Blue Jay.

The Blue Jay is bold, aggressive and even a bit cocky. It seems to be quite intelligent, as far as birds go. It's also not unusual to see a family of them hanging out together.

The other birds, regardless of size, get out of the way when the Blue Jay comes around. What a Blue Jay wants, a Blue Jay generally seems to get.

Oscar says he would like to come back to Earth as a Blue Jay, if forced to make a choice. I'm still sticking with the Chickadee.

***

On some occasions, there are visits by Downy Woodpeckers.

As development around the Sack has continued, there seem to be fewer sightings of these colourful little birds. In the past, there have been appearances by other members of the woodpecker family. On a handful of occasions over the last seven years, we've seen Hairy Woodpeckers and Northern Flickers.

Neither of these birds has been seen for some time now.

***

Another welcome guest is the Ruby-throated Hummingbird.

These tiny creatures seem to come back faithfully every year. It's important to be ready for them when they arrive in early May. Supposedly, they can remember where their feeding places are located. And they're in need of refreshment after finishing their seasonal migration.

Hummingbirds, of course, motor about in a spectacular fashion. It must be impossible for the human eye to process the speed of its wings.

***

When I was a kid, I imagined we'd be zipping about like hummingbirds in our jet packs by now. It looks like we missed that prediction about the future by a wide margin.

Computer Doug says we got stuck with camera phones, instead. He could be right about that.

***

Mrs. Wonders says she'd like to come back as a Hummingbird, if given her choice. I'm still sticking with the Chickadee.

***

There have been sightings of other birds from time to time. An Indigo Bunting once visited for a whole week. It wasn't hard to pick out amongst the others.

But usually, it's just the regulars. There haven't been any sightings of anything else beyond the regulars for some time. This could be part of a normal pattern of things. It could also be a result of continued development around the old town.

And, of course, it could have something to do with the whole environment thing.

***

Racoons are an increasingly big part of the Sack's nocturnal creatures. Oscar says they rank just below Dirk and Dora as the most annoying of this group of animals.

Gordon once called the police on a family of raccoons. He thought they were hoodlums intent on breaking into his house.

The police were quick to identify Gordon's hoodlums as mere raccoons. Gordon was miffed when they left without doing anything about them.

***

Last week, Oscar almost ran into a raccoon on the Wonder's back deck. He'd gone out there to smoke some tobacco and wasn't paying attention. He noticed the raccoon when he was only a few feet away from it. Oscar said they were both startled.

I told Oscar I wasn't responsible for the creatures that occupy my back deck. I said he should use it at his own risk.

***

Oscar said he would give some consideration to the raccoon, if he was reincarnated as the suburban animal of his choice.

The raccoon, Oscar pointed out, has thumbs. This is something that other animals tend to lack. More important, he said the raccoon is nocturnal.

"When you're a raccoon," Oscar explained, "you can sleep all day, if you want."

***

I'm still going with the Black-capped Chickadee.

***