Remind Me

Whenever someone asks me to remind them about something later, I always nod my head in agreement. I say I'll do it, but I won't. With full intention, I refrain from mentioning the matter at all.

I can be a real bastard sometimes.

***

An ambulance and a limousine. Remind me to tell you more about these two vehicles.

Within the last month, both have made visits to Burning Manor. Dora, not surprisingly, was a passenger in each vehicle. Dirk was away working on the oil rig during both incidents.

Burning Manor continues to be the Sack's primary source for local entertainment.

***

I should also make a point of telling you about the recent emergency meeting of the Sack Resident's Society. Make sure you remind me to tell you about it.

The meeting was held to develop a "communication strategy" for the upcoming public meeting about Serenity Terrace. This is the new cul-de-sac slated to be erected between the Sack and the local coffee cathedral. The land is currently zoned for commercial use only, so approval must be granted by the old town's civic government.

Sack people are madly in favour of the new cul-de-sac. But the residents of nearby Pleasant Street had their hearts set on a commercial development. Apparently, they like the idea of having a local corner store within walking distance of their homes. The two competing voices are expected to clash during the upcoming public meeting.

Oscar says Gordon is steeling himself for a major victory over the upstarts from Pleasant Street. "If everything goes well," he said with a serious look, "this could turn out to be Gordon's finest hour."

I remain doubtful about this.

***

Meanwhile, Little Doug is fuming about his wet cell phone. Remind me to tell you more about this.

Little Doug and his cell phone were soaked during the recent Rolling Stones concert held in the old town. A more rainy and blustery day could not have been imagined. Remind me to tell you more about that, too.

***

Deliberations on the Doug of the Year award will soon be necessary. It seemed like only yesterday that we gave last year's honour to Rental Doug.

Oscar said he was glad that I brought the matter up. If I hadn't, he said he probably wouldn't have remembered. But now that he's been reminded about it, he said he would be sure to bring it up again.

I said I certainly wasn't trying to remind him about anything. I just brought it up as way of making conversation.

***

It has been some time since we spoke of Maxwell, Britney Bitterman and, of course, Baby Maybe. Remind me to give you a full update on their trials and tribulations.

In particular, though, remind me to tell you more about Maxwell's latest exploits. He still hasn't been able to get his business, Cutlass Supreme Painting, off the ground. But he has managed to make one significant achievement.

He has regained his visiting privileges at the Bitterman homestead.

***

Maxwell, of course, was banished from the home and hearts of Mr. and Mrs. Bitterman. This was mostly due to his continued failure to maintain gainful employment.

Since his exile began, Maxwell has remained, for the most part, comfortably idle. Even Baby Maybe's arrival hasn't moved him toward any substantial economic activity. Nevertheless, it seems that some form of a truce has been established with Britney's parents.

So Maxwell is officially back in the Sack. Remind me to tell you more about this.

***

Last week, I encountered Weed at the local coffee cathedral. He told me about his fantastic idea for a movie. The premise appears to be as follows:

A guy goes to a matinee movie on a cold February afternoon. The streets are snow covered and people are bundled up as they shuffle about in the frigid temperatures.

When the movie ends, the guy emerges from the theatre and discovers that it's now very warm and sunny. But no one, even his fellow moviegoers, seem surprised by this turn of events. In fact, everyone, aside from the protagonist, is wearing appropriate summer clothing. The guy soon learns that he has travelled back in time to the previous August.

Great hilarity ensues as the guy gets a "do over" on the previous six months. But the best part of the story (according to Weed) occurs at the end. When February comes around again, the guy goes to the same movie and on precisely the same date and time. He goes to the exact same seat and discovers his favourite toque and a treasured pair of expensive winter gloves. Apparently, he had left both items behind when he was there the first time.

Weed says he has at least two more great movie ideas in his brain right now. He said I must remind him to tell me more when we meet next.

Nothing, I told him, would please me more than hearing more about his movie ideas. I said I would certainly raise the matter immediately when our paths crossed again.

***