Love in the Air

Jeff Christ has decided to seek his fortune at the local call centre.

According to Ben, Jeff has declined an invitation to join the Canadian Forces. He had originally planned to join them in keeping the True North strong and free. But now, the young man will concentrate his efforts at the local call centre. He started working there two weeks ago. For the foreseeable future, it looks like Jeff Christ's strong customer service skills and computer knowledge will be available to the masses.

Ben, of course, is a senior cook with the Canadian Forces. He has given more than twenty years of dedicated service. Despite his nephew's decision, however, he remains very supportive.

"Whatever floats his boat," Ben said philosophically.

***

There are only two unattached adults living in the Sack. There were three people in this category, but Elizabeth recently reunited with her husband after more than six years of separation.

Elizabeth's husband, Philip suffered a major middle-age meltdown after more than twenty years of marriage. Apparently, he developed a nasty case of gambling fever and was well on his way to causing their financial ruin. There was also the small matter of an extramarital affair.

Elizabeth, as Gordon tells it, had no choice but to send Philip packing.

***

Thankfully, Philip's gambling bug has been exterminated. He has returned to his devout ways and has pledged to remain, to the best of his ability, on a righteous path.

Elizabeth, of course, is both wary and hopeful about her husband's transformation. She welcomed him into her Sack home about five weeks ago after a lengthy dating period. Now, as Oscar described it, Philip is on "double probation" for the foreseeable future.

So far, I'm pleased to report, things seem to be going well for Elizabeth and Philip. The couple is apparently planning an April trip to Cuba as a way of celebrating their reunification.

So far, so good.

***

Florence is one of the Sack's two single residents.

Now in her early forties, Florence has never been married. She does have a successful career as a teacher. She also seems to have a variety of interests and a close circle of family and friends. Her home is well-maintained and comfortably furnished. Periodically, she hosts foreign students in her home.

Florence is doing just fine.

***

Dating is something Florence appears to do only on a sporadic basis. From time to time, she'll be seen with a male suitor as they leave the Sack together. Oscar jokingly refers to the men as Florence's "gentleman callers."

It's also rare to see Florence with the same suitor more than a few times. The only exception was a few years ago. A particular fellow was observed on five or six occasions. He was a rather thin, bookish man who wore glasses. He also had a propensity for wrinkled dress shirts. Mrs. Wonder's said she would be very surprised if he didn't keep his clothing in a large pile in the corner of his bedroom.

Oscar jokingly referred to the fellow as Poindexter.

Despite his more frequent appearances in the Sack, Poindexter still didn't last long as one of Florence's suitors. Like those before him, he was soon conspicuous by his absence.

Oscar says Florence sent Poindexter packing. This is probably true.

***

The other single Sack resident is Little Doug.

Until about ten years ago, he was happily married. Then his wife ran away with some guy from the internet.

This, of course, is how Little Doug describes the end of his marriage. He makes it sound like the internet is an actual place somewhere near the depths of hell or, at the very least, a Toronto suburb.

Little Doug will also admit he had no idea that his wife was unhappy with their relationship. He thought everything was hunky dory.

***

Understandably, the loss of his marriage really knocked the wind out of Little Doug. For a while, he said he was like a deer with its eyes caught in the headlights of an approaching car.

Little Doug makes his eyes grow wide when he says this.

It wasn't long, however, before he eased back into his old routines. He went back to helping people build or fix things, even though his own home was looking a little frayed around the edges. He also started to watch his favourite fishing shows again. And, of course, he resumed his annual hunting and fishing trips.

In other words, he returned to the same life he enjoyed while his marriage was intact. At least, that's how his prospective son-in-law, Weed describes it.

***

The occasional Sack observer might wonder if Florence and Little Doug might ever find union together.

From the standpoint of the blogging machine, it would be a fantastic development. Sadly, it's a scenario that remains highly unlikely.

Although Little Doug is almost seven years older than Florence, their age difference wouldn't be a barrier to their coupling. It would have far more to do with their divergent interests.

Florence, for example, would enjoy a night of entertainment from the old town's symphony orchestra. Little Doug, on the other hand, could help you build a suitable venue for this artistic endeavour, but he likely wouldn't stick around for any performances. He's just not that type of fellow.

Little Doug would happily spend a few hours at the local coffee cathedral as a regular dating activity. Florence would likely prefer a Saturday afternoon stop at a downtown cafe, but only after a regular visit to the old town's farmer's market.

Florence likes to run as her preferred method of exercise. Little Doug has diabetes.

It's not hard to see that it would never work.

***

Until very recently, Little Doug had shown no interest in dating. But this has now changed in a big way. It seems that he may be on the cusp of getting himself a girlfriend.

According to Weed, Little Doug has gone out on three or four occasions with a woman named Marcella. Apparently, the two have also been talking on the telephone with some frequency. Ironically, they met through a local internet dating site.

Marcella, Weed informs us, is a rather short, stocky woman who drives a green pickup truck. She came to pick up Little Doug from the Sack the other day. Little Doug, of course, also owns a pickup truck. He has a blue one.

Weed says Marcella seems like she's a very nice person. He hasn't met her yet, but from the front window of Little Doug's place, he said she looked like she had a nice personality.

The only other thing Weed knows about Marcella is this: On the back of her green pickup truck is a bumper sticker that reads, "I'd rather be fishing!"

In some ways, the bumper sticker is even more surprising than Little Doug's emergence on the dating scene. He has the same sticker on the back of his blue pickup truck.

Oscar says Little Doug and Marcella must be like two peas in a pod. He could be right about this.

***

Little Doug, of course, has said very little about Marcella to Weed or his daughter, Daisy. He has only acknowledged her name and the fact that they're seeing each other. So far, he says they've gone to three movies together.

When Marcella picked up Little Doug the other day, they were planning to go to the boat show together. He told Daisy that Marcella had acquired a pair of free passes.

Meanwhile, Oscar is chastising himself for failing to notice the appearance of Marcella in the Sack. Since he works from home, he prides himself in having his finger on the pulse of the neighbourhood.

"I must've been asleep at the switch," he complained to your agent.

***

If Little Doug's connection with Marcella continues, it could mean that only one unattached person would remain in the Sack. However, over at Burning Manor, Dora remains on the lam and Dirk is telling the peelers that he's no longer attached to her.

If this is true, it would bring the Sack's single population back to its previous number.

Oscar says it would be very interesting if Florence and Dirk formed a relationship. He said it would be fascinating to see her at one of Burning Manor's alcohol-infused country music singalongs, followed by a midnight argument in the middle of the Sack.

Conversely, Dirk could accompany her to a symphony performance. He could buy organic vegetables with her at the farmer's market. He could also join her for cappuccino at a downtown cafe. On the way back to the Sack, they could drop off Dirk's empty beer bottles at the local recycling depot.

More important, according to Oscar, a Florence-Dirk union might bring us some inside information on the inner workings of Burning Manor. If she was willing to carry a hidden camera, Oscar says we could make a documentary entitled Inside Burning Manor.

I think I'm going to put my money on Little Doug and Marcella.

***