Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Development Developments

Rumours grow about the development of vacant land that lies immediately north of the Sack.

It has been known for at least five years that a commercial development is planned for this land. The north side of The Sack will abut whatever becomes established there.

Opinions in The Sack are mixed about this subject.

***
Recent news suggests that a small strip mall or plaza will soon occupy the space. Oscar, for one, is ecstatic.

"In a perfect world, he says philosophically, we will have a liquor store, an outlet that carries only the finest pornography and, of course, a donair shop."

Then, he adds, "If this comes to fruition, we'll never need to leave The Sack again."

***
Liquor is a substance controlled and sold by the rich, to distract the masses from growing and using marijuana.

Pornography, some say, is in the eye of the beholder.

A donair is another matter entirely.

***
A donair is a ghastly food product that enjoys much favour among the local populace. It is typically ingested after a night of drinking and carousing in the downtown quarter.

I am told that it consists of thinly shaved 'meat', covered liberally with a greyish, soup-like liquid. It is normally served on some form of bread product.

I am also told that it is sometimes possible to actually hear the sound of one's arteries hardening as the evil mixture is digested.

***
I will now stand accused of hypocrisy.

I have never eaten a donair, nor do I plan to. But I would happily pay to see The Rolling Stones, if faced with a choice between them and eating a donair.

***
Mrs. Wonders and I would be very pleased if a garden centre bloomed on the vacant land. Florence says she would prefer a small grocery store. Computer Doug wants a 24-hour child care centre. The remaining Dougs favour a hardware store. Elizabeth is hopeful for a pharmacy.

Oscar says he spoke with Mulva today. He claims that she is "on side" with the liquour/porn/donair development.

***

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