Friday, February 17, 2006

Opening Day Jitters

Burning Manor is scheduled to reopen almost two weeks from now.

***
The power connections to the rebuilt home were made today. From the outside, it looks like the interior painting has been completed, as well.

The house is stilling missing a front porch and a back deck. These structures will probably be erected next week. Meanwhile, Gordon is wondering if the front yard will receive a new layer of sod.

Actually, Gordon is doing something more than just wondering about this. He's positively fretting about it.

***
Beyond all the past indoor shenanigans at Burning Manor, the condition of its front yard has always been a source of frustration for many Sack people. Prior to the fire, the lawn was (for lack of a better word) dead. In the summer, it would quickly take on desert-like qualities. Oscar says he once saw tumbleweed meander silently across it.

This could be true.

***
After all the commotion from the fire, and then enduring the subsequent reconstruction, the front yard now looks like it was used as a battleground.

In some ways, I suppose it has.

***
Several years ago, it became clear that Dirk had some inkling that people weren't happy with the state of his yard.

He might have figured it out by the looks people gave him. Maybe he finally noticed the contrast between his yard and those around him. But most people think he developed the inkling after Elizabeth told him that his front lawn looked like a "godforsaken no-man's land."

Elizabeth was irate because of all the weeds growing on her lawn. She said they were being blown over from Dirk's lawn. It was one of many complaints she hit him with, after some friends of Burning Manor walked into her place by mistake. She has a way of holding on to her complaints and then letting loose with them all at once.

This can't be good for one's blood pressure.

***
So, Dirk and Dora made a grand effort to beautify their front yard.

The first thing Dirk did to improve its appearance was quite surprising. One can only hope that it was part of some local custom adopted from whatever part of the country he originally hails from.

Dirk acquired a dead tree stump and plunked it in the middle of his lawn.

The best anyone can guess is that the stump was for ornamental purposes. Gordon, of course, was incredulous. He says it's impossible to conceive that anyone would place a tree stump on a lawn for esthetic value.

This, of course, might be one of Gordon's shortcomings. His boundaries around what's possible are too firm. He might need to loosen them a bit, or to make things even easier, get rid of them altogether.

Life is far more manageable when you accept that anything is always possible.

***
It's said that Dora was responsible for the second act of beautification in Burning Manor's front yard.

There is, however, some dispute about this. Some people claim Dirk was the one who made the effort. Either way, Burning Manor suddenly had a sparse grouping of flowering annuals. They were planted in one of the many small areas where the yard was completely bereft of grass.

The flowers were a deep purple and they were carelessly strewn about in the soil. Oscar says it looks like Dora (or maybe, Dirk) tripped while carrying a tray of the annuals and then planted them where they landed.

He could be right about this.

Unfortunately, the flowers were dead before the end of the summer. This should be no surprise, according to Mrs. Wonders, if one doesn't water them at all.

***
When last summer arrived, Burning Manor had no flowers at all. Dirk and Dora must have figured they'd done enough to satisfy whatever complaints they'd heard from Elizabeth and others.

Of course, it all became a moot point when Burning Manor was set ablaze.

But now Dirk and Dora have a chance to start over again. They might decide that they want to do more to look after the appearance of their home. This is always easier to do when you're starting over again.

***
Most Sack people seem to think that new shenanigans will undoubtedly take place at Burning Manor when Dirk and Dora move back. Gordon is predicting they'll have a visit from the peelers within two weeks of moving in.

He could be right about this. Of course, Elizabeth has already sworn to call the peelers on Dirk and Dora if they "so much as breathe too loud."

***
One can only be optimistic that Dirk and Dora will breathe quietly and fly under everyone's radar for as long as possible. And hopefully, they'll keep their new home even just a little more presentable on the outside. A little effort would keep most Sack residents off their backs.

Meanwhile, Oscar and I are looking forward to the return of the big, barking and bored dog and his little mate, Doggy Baun.

It has been more than six months since we've seen these two canines.

Oscar says he wouldn't be surprised if Dirk and Dora are without their dogs. He thinks they've been living in an apartment since the fire. It's possible, he says, that they had to get rid of the dogs.

***
Of course, there's no way of knowing what will come to pass when Dirk and Dora return.

It's usually best to consider the best and worst-case scenarios and then expect something somewhere in between the two. At the same time, it's also best not to rule out that both the best and worst-case scenarios could occur, too.

After all, anything is possible.

***

5 comments:

Jessica said...

It is one step ahead of a wagon wheel (the lawn ornament of choice in my home state), but still--a stump?

Who are peelers and why do they sound so threatening?

Guy Wonders said...

"Peelers" is an old British term for the police. (See "Enter the Peelers" on Sept. 16/05) As you might guess, Burning Manor has preferred-customer status with the local peelers . . .

Balloon Pirate said...

One man's tree stump is another man's driftwood...

At least it wasn't a mottled blue 1986 Chevy Nova on cinderblocks with a trunk that never shut.

Things can always be worse...

Yeharr

Guy Wonders said...

You bet it can . . .

Jessica said...

I had an Elizabeth moment this morning when I discovered the construction trucks had torn up a patch of my lawn and knocked a sprinkler out of commission. I now am convinced that my neighbor's house is going to burst into flames at any second.

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