Cuba, Si!

Dirk and Dora still haven't moved back into Burning Manor. It is looking more likely that the big day will be on April Fool's Day.

This is no simple irony. Rather, it's a delicious irony.

***

Ben and Norma are going to Cuba on Friday for a vacation.

It was Norma's idea to go on the trip. Ben wanted to buy a snow blower, but cooler heads prevailed.

Ben said he's going to wait and see how global warming pans out before he looks at snow blowers again.

***

Gordon and Big Doug are veterans of the winter vacation in Cuba. They've been going with their families for the last five years.

Quite a number of Sack residents have taken vacations there. Florence has traveled to Cuba on several occasions. Elizabeth went there for the first time a few years ago. Oscar spent some time there on a work-related gig several years ago, too.

Oscar tells me that even young Doo has been to Cuba. Apparently, he went there in February along with his mom and his new step dad, Sticky.

There could be even more Sack residents who've been to Cuba. Those are just the ones I know about.

***

Cuba seems to be a popular destination for Canadians, especially those who hail from the old town.

One can only guess at some of the reasons for this. Historically, Canada's political relations with Cuba have not been unfriendly. An economic relationship has endured, if not strengthened over the last ten years or so.

As a winter holiday destination, Cuba is a relatively inexpensive place, compared to other Caribbean countries. And, of course, the weather is quite favourable. Pale, knobbly-kneed Canadians are going to find their way there eventually.

***

Documenting the trials and tribulations of the Sack requires the observational skills of a detective and the inquisitive nature of an investigative journalist.

But it's hard to write with confidence about Sack residents and their forays into the opulent resorts of communist Cuba. Only someone who has been to Cuba could do justice to these stories.

Historically, the Wonders' have eschewed the warm, winter vacation. As a result, we've never been to Cuba.

This is about to change.

***

During the last week of April, the Wonders' will travel to Cuba.

Make no mistake, the trip will be purely a fact-finding one. We'll document the environment typically inhabited by past Sack visitors. We'll look for evidence of Cubans wearing Big Doug's "Hurry, Hard!" curling T-shirts. Cuban trees will be examined for signs of young Doo's branch-breaking handiwork.

It will be, as the saying goes, all work and no play.

***

It may not be a task that can be effectively managed by one person.

Thankfully, Oscar and his wife, G.W. will travel to Cuba at the same time. Oscar says he's going solely to conduct a scholarly investigation of the life and times of Ernest Hemingway. But, if assistance is required in documenting the activities of Sack residents in Cuba, he said he's prepared to make himself available.

***

Meanwhile, there is much to do in preparation for the trip to Cuba.

Passports must be renewed and summer clothing must be retrieved from storage. Mrs. Wonders and G.W. are considering a trip to a tanning salon, in order to prepare their delicate Canadian skins for the onslaught of Caribbean sunshine.

Oscar says he is going to "ramp up" Man Boobs Be Gone, his male breast reduction program, over the next three weeks. Of course, he's also planning to "ramp up" his intake of rum. The trip is an all-inclusive one, a feature he says will be lost on people if they don't practice overindulgence ahead of time.

Myself? I just need to sharpen some pencils and acquire a new notebook. There will be much work to be done in Cuba.

***