The Weeks of Our Lives

In the Sack, life continues to move in slow, awkward circles . . . . .

***

Daisy was telling Weed how much she looks forward to watching "Shark Week" on the Discovery Channel. She was hoping that another one would be coming along soon. Apparently, "Shark Week" involves seven days of programs devoted to the matter of sharks.

Weed really liked the idea of the week long theme. He thought it would be useful to incorporate into his personal life.

On Monday, Weed announced that it was the official start of "Nap Week." It would be a week, he explained, focused on "intentionality and napping."

Yesterday, Weed said it had been a splendid week, so far.

***

Computer Doug, on the other hand, had a few difficult days last week.

Last Wednesday, he woke up at five-thirty in the morning. This is his normal practice on a working day. The next part of his routine is to take a quick, hot shower. Apparently, this is where things started to fall apart.

Not only was he greeted by a blast of cold water, but he soon learned that his furnace wasn't working at all. Fortunately, it didn't take long to figure out why: There wasn't a drop of oil in Computer Doug's oil tank.

***

Houses in the Sack (and in almost all of the old town) are heated with oil.

Computer Doug says he has the "primo" service contract with the old town's largest heating oil supplier. He says his part of the contract is to pay the company an exorbitant monthly fee.

The oil company's part of the deal is to ensure that Computer Doug never runs out of oil.

***

One would expect the oil company to quickly rectify the problem.

Computer Doug had done his part of the deal, but the oil company hadn't done theirs. He expected them to make a heroic effort to fix the problem. Unfortunately for Computer Doug and his family, no such attempt could be made right away.

The heating oil company said it would take several days to replenish the tank. It was the absolute best they could do. Apparently, their "system" isn't set up to deal with problems that aren't suppose to happen in the first place.

Unable to secure any immediate oil for the furnace, Computer Doug and his wife, Marion went with their two young children to stay with Marion's mother for a few days. It was the only way they were going to get any hot water or warm air.

The next day, while on his way to work, Computer Doug made an illegal left turn and received a traffic ticket. He received a second ticket because his license had apparently expired. Overall, his fines amounted to more than three hundred dollars.

Computer Doug said his theme would've been "Crap Week," if he had decided to employ Weed's new week long theme idea.

***

Dirk and Dora still haven't moved back into Burning Manor.

They were expected to move back on the first Saturday in March. Coincidently, this would have been Elizabeth's birthday. Elizabeth, of course, is the person in the Sack most averse to Dirk and Dora's return. She lives next door to them and has been bothered frequently by their shenanigans in the past.

As far as Elizabeth is concerned, the torching of Burning Manor was only the latest bit of craziness in the lives of Dirk and Dora. She expects more shenanigans will ensue when the couple returns.

She's probably right about that.

***

No one knows why it's taking so long for the house to be ready.

It seems like the work has slowed to a crawl. The back deck still hasn't been erected and the land surrounding the house remains a mixture of mud and rocks.

On the other hand, there are signs that the big move-in date is approaching. Much to Computer Doug's chagrin, an oil truck delivered heating oil to Burning Manor yesterday. This is a credible sign that the return of Dirk and Dora is imminent.

***

While Computer Doug was watching the oil delivery, he saw Dirk drive into the Sack. Attached to the rearview mirror of Dirk's car was a disabled parking tag. It was the familiar blue sign with the wheelchair image that allows one to park in spots reserved for disabled people.

Computer Doug said he saw Dirk get out of the car and enter Burning Manor. He didn't appear to have any mobility problems.

***

Sack theorists are presuming that Dora has somehow acquired a disability since Burning Manor was torched. There are many ideas about the nature of the disability. Most of these ideas are not very nice. Some people are even suggesting that Dora is pulling a scam in order to get a good parking spot at the liquor store.

I have no idea about any of this.

***

This is not the first time Dora's health has been a subject of curiosity among Sack dwellers.

About four years ago, there was a rumour that Dora had been diagnosed with cancer. At the time, she was at home quite often, so there was some concern that the rumours were true.

Thankfully, it was soon learned that instead of cancer, Dora just had canker sores in her mouth. Since she was working at a call centre at the time, it was necessary for her to be on extended sick leave.

Oscar suggested that people should make donations to the Canadian Canker Society as a show of support for Dora. I'm quite sure no one made the effort.

***

Finally, Sack kids have been enjoying their March break this week.

The basketball net from Oscar's house reappeared on the street and the thud of ball against pavement has played steadily in the background over the last five days. On Thursday night, the kids were even playing a game of tag in and around the houses that face the Sack's centre circle.

These activities are a sure sign of spring.

***