Pie in the Sky

The Sack enjoyed a weekend of glorious weather. The senses were awash in the sights, sounds and smells of an August long weekend.

It was a time for lemonade, iced cappuccino (from the local coffee cathedral) and cold beer. Throughout the late afternoon and early evening, there was a persistent aroma of barbecued beef. Sack vegetarians were undoubtedly appalled.

It was also an unlikely time for pie.

***

The first mention of pie came during an impromptu curbside gathering by an assortment of Sack people.

When asked about Norma's whereabouts, Ben said his wife was busy making a lemon meringue pie. Apparently they were expecting relatives later in the day. Ben says Norma is very good at making pies.

Oscar immediately said that lemon meringue was his favourite pie. If Norma needed anyone to "taste-test" her creation, he said he would be the first to volunteer. Ben said he would let Oscar know if his services were required.

***

Blueberry pie has always been Weed's favourite. He said his grandmother was well known for her prowess with this particular pie. When he was a young lad, Weed said he used to pick the blueberries with his grandmother. Then she would make the pie right in front of him.

I'm an apple pie man, myself.

***

Oscar said it's a great shame that people don't leave pies in their open kitchen windows anymore. Although he had never seen the practice himself, he said he'd seen it during cartoons, on old television shows and in the movies.

"A society where you can leave a freshly baked pie to cool in an open window is definitely my kind of society," Oscar announced.

"Right on," said Computer Doug.

Weed nodded his agreement. "Eventually, there were too many stolen pies. People couldn't trust each other with the pies."

I said I like a nice coating of brown sugar on my apple pie.

***

Of course, the disappearance of "the cooling pie in the open window" from the public domain is not such a simple matter. This was proven over the next half of an hour.

It was thirty minutes that will never be recovered.

Computer Doug said human distrust isn't the only reason for the extinction of this practice. Very few people, he argued, spend their time baking any more. He said people want their food quickly and without lengthy preparation. It's not because people don't want to put their pies in the window. He said they don't need to put their pies in the window.

Ben said Computer Doug made a good point. But he argued that people still need to cool off their store-bought pies. Besides distrust, Ben said the only other reason could be the invention of the window screen.

"Because of the fixed window screen, there isn't enough room for a pie to sit on a window sill. People want to cool their pies in the window, they just can't any more."

***

Oscar said Ben's argument was preposterous.

The pie in the window, he argued, died long before the window screen. "Birds and hoboes," he said flatly. "That was the real reason. And rascally kids"

I like ice cream with warm apple pie. But I prefer to eat cold apple pie by itself. Both, of course, demand an accompanying glass of milk.

You wouldn't be able to know any of this by just looking at me.

***

More debate ensued before the matter finally ran its course.

In the end, Weed and Oscar walked off talking but an invention that would allow people to place their pies safely in any window. It would be sold as an upgrade feature with high quality windows. Your pie would sit in your window free from interference by birds, hoboes and insolent kids for as long as it needed to cool.

I don't remember the details of their idea. My ears had long since closed down by this time. I also expected it would be my last contact with pie that weekend.

***

The next morning I was puttering about in the rear of the Wonders' modest backyard. About half of the area is filled with trees and wild growth. This line of greenery, along with a wooden fence, is what separates the Sack from the street beyond it.

Generally, we let nature take its course in this area. There are lots of living things there, so we avoid even walking through the growth of shrubs, ferns and trees. But every now and then, I'll take a quick walk through to pick up any litter that might accumulate. It can be very windy around the Sack, so it's common for this to happen.

The litter that finds its way into the yard can be very odd. Once I found a torn birthday card wedged in a shrub. It was part of the card's inside panel. There were a few lines of verse and then the words, "Love, Yolanda." Yolanda wrote her name with a great flourish. There were also three kisses and four hugs carefully marked under her name using Xs and Os.

***

When the old town's waste management professionals ply their trade in the Sack, there is always the chance of spillage. Garbage is sometimes blown about when they transfer it to the disposal trucks.

The lighter pieces of garbage get caught in the wind and spread themselves around. It's probably why I find pieces of paper, plastic bags and various wrappers in the wooded area of the backyard.

Of course, the Sack is not far from a local school. The litter could be initiated by careless kids en route to school. Then it gets blown around and lands in the Wonders' yard.

This might explain why I sometimes find elementary school homework in the back yard.

***

Last May, I found a battered single page from a rudimentary history essay. It was about the expulsion of the Acadians. Unfortunately, the student consistently used the word "explosion" instead of "expulsion." It was an unfortunate error on a very serious subject.

Mrs. Wonders said I should have corrected the essay and then thrown it back into the wind. Perhaps, she said, it might end up back in the author's hands.

I actually gave this some thought before discarding the idea.

***

During this most recent walkabout through the wooded area, I ran across more school-related litter. It would be my second encounter with pie in less than twenty-four hours.

To be specific, this time it was actually an encounter with the mathematical concept of Pi. Sitting under a fern was a single page from a math textbook. It just happened to be a page dealing with Pi. There was even a diagram to explain the concept further.

It looked like the page had been torn from the textbook. It looked like it might have been done in anger, too.

I spent a few minutes reading about pi. I even tried to imagine having to write a test about it. Then I bunched up the page and put it in my garbage bag.

***

Later that night, Mrs. Wonders and I went out for dinner.

Neither of us tends to order dessert when we go out. But it was getting close to the end of my vacation, so I said yes to the offer of a dessert menu. This is always a good rationale for doing things one normally wouldn't do.

In the end, I ordered the apple pie with a dollop of ice cream. The pie was just the right temperature, too. It wasn't scalding hot, nor was it too cool. And I'm very sure it didn't sit in any windows before it found its way to my plate.

But it was still very good pie, indeed.

***