Psycho Babble

I took this week off from work.

Oscar and his family went to see friends in the U.S. Gordon was visiting family in Digby. According to Little Doug, Weed was on a two-day, work-related course in Toronto. Not even young Doo was around the Sack. Apparently he went camping with his mom and Sticky, his relatively new step dad.

The chance for some peace in the Sack was at an all-time high.

***

Mrs. Wonders had gone back to bed. I was idling away at the blogging machine with a rare second cup of coffee. These are the things one does when enjoying a "do-nothing-in-particular" vacation.

But the weekday morning calm was quickly broken by an awful clatter. It roused Mrs. Wonders, who quickly beckoned me away from the blogging machine. Gazing out from our bedroom window, we could see Dora and Elizabeth facing each other from their respective lawns. Each had her arms folded scornfully across her chest.

A verbal joust was in progress.

***

Elizabeth returned from Montreal on Thursday. She was in la belle province to see her sister. While she was away, I was responsible for picking up her weekend newspapers.

According to Elizabeth, I did an excellent job.

***

Sack observers expected that Elizabeth would, as Weed expressed it, "blow a gasket" when she returned.

While she was gone, Burning Manor acquired a new chainlink fence on its side and rear flanks. Dirk had approached her about building the fence along their joint property line. Elizabeth refused to give her permission.

***

Surprisingly, Elizabeth was very calm and rational about the matter when I returned her weekend newspapers. A week away from the Sack seemed to have given her a more gracious demeanour, as far as Burning Manor was concerned. She said she was just going to act like it no longer existed. The fence met with her complete approval, since it would be a big help in that regard.

For two days, Elizabeth's new approach to Burning Manor was a smash success.

***

On the third day, Elizabeth and Dora happened to walk out of their respective homes at precisely the same time.

Later, Elizabeth would describe it as a "frozen moment." Their eyes met and held. Time seemed to stand still.

According to Elizabeth, her new strategy eventually kicked in. She said she looked "right through" Dora as if she didn't exist. Then she turned to walk to her car. Elizabeth said she was certain the moment would pass without incident.

But it all came crashing down when Dora opened her mouth.

***

Wyse Brothers Fencing Ltd. erected Burning Manor's new fence. The only outstanding matter was the hardware for the fence's gate.

One of the Wyse Brothers was supposed to bring the hardware over the next day. He was told to leave it on the porch if no one was home at Burning Manor.

As soon as Dora cast her eyes upon Elizabeth's face, she accused her of stealing the hardware. Then she called Elizabeth something far worse than "a frickin' dick dog."

***

Elizabeth's newfound calmness evaporated in an instant. She roared back at Dora with a loud, angry, high-pitched voice. She roared so much she needed a gulp of air when she was finished.

That's when Dora called Elizabeth a "psycho."

***

Elizabeth immediately started laughing with great enthusiasm. It was a sound that was more than a little unnerving to hear.

Finally, she said to Dora, "You are so hilarious!" Dora seemed confused and uncertain about Elizabeth's sudden demeanour.

"What's so hilarious?" Dora asked.

Elizabeth took a few steps closer to her neighbour. Her voice was calm and controlled.

"You want to talk about psycho?" she asked. "I'll tell you about psycho." I work on a psycho unit, so I know what psycho looks like, okay?" And I'm telling you something, sister, if there's a psycho standing here right now, it certainly isn't me."

Then Elizabeth walked over to her car and promptly drove away.

***

Elizabeth really does work in the psychiatric unit of a hospital. This is the first time I've heard her refer to it as a "psycho" unit.

Of course, she'll also be the first to tell you that she's not qualified to assess someone's mental health status. Elizabeth works on the administrative side of things, not the treatment side.

Nevertheless, she still thinks Dora is a "psycho."

***

The verbal sparring by Elizabeth and Dora had broken the karma of our quiet home vacation. Mrs. Wonders' nap had gone sour. The blogging machine no longer held my interest.

We decided to drive along the coast to the very outskirts of the old town. There is a rocky piece of shoreline running in front of an old, but still functioning lighthouse. A five minute walk across some rugged terrain brings one to some small cliffs and a spectacular view of the Atlantic ocean.

It can be captivating to gaze across the water from this spot. Somewhere on the other side of that ocean are places where horrible things are happening. It's a handy reminder that our troubles pale in comparison to those experienced by others.

***

Of course, relaxing in the sun with a comfortable ocean breeze also has a way of making trouble feel far away. It wasn't long before the most recent Sack shenanigans faded from memory.

Eventually, Mrs. Wonders fell asleep. I read for some time and then scanned the water with my binoculars. Whale sightings are possible here, if one is fortunate.

I wasn't fortunate this time.

***

But there was a very good view of some gannets.

A gannet is a sea bird that makes a vertical beeline into the water from a great height. It actually goes into the water to catch a fish and then comes out again. It does all of this at a very high rate of speed.

When the gannet makes its vertical dive, it almost seems like it will hit the water with a bloody splatter. At first viewing, it can seem like a very crazy bird.

Of course, the gannet is not a crazy bird. It's specially equipped to hunt and feed in this fashion. So even if it looks crazy, it really isn't.

***

Some would argue that both Dora and Elizabeth are becoming "psycho."

Of course, it's also possible that both are specially equipped to behave like they did on Friday. So even if one or both look "psycho," maybe they really aren't.

I suppose anything's possible.

***