So, for your entertainment and for the statistically-inclined, here are The Sack's vital details.
25
The number of houses in The Sack. Two-thirds were built by drug-addled general contractors, under the direction of a miserly developer. The rest of the houses were built by sane people.
16
The number of homes still owned by the original buyer. This includes the place where Rental Doug now lives. It also includes the blackened shell of Burning Manor.
I like to be accurate about these things.
8
The number of dogs who live in The Sack. This does not include the big, barking and bored dog and his compatriot, Doggy Baun. They are the former canine residents of Burning Manor.
8
The number of homes that do not house children. According to Oscar, these are the homes that have the highest property value.
7
The number of cars in The Sack manufactured by Honda. I drive a Honda. So do half of the Dougs. And Oscar.
Coincidence? Well, yes.
5
The number of nurses who live The Sack. Interestingly, I've noticed that most of them do not care for themselves as well as they look after others.
Coincidence? Probably not.
5
The number of cats in The Sack. This does not include the Wonders' kitty, Spencer T. MacGillicuddy. Old Spence died two years ago at the ripe age of twenty-one.
The existing cats take very good care of themselves, indeed.
They also take care of birds, squirrels and other rodents. The remains of these critters can be found in a killing field behind Little Doug's place.
Three of the cats live with Little Doug. The Wonders' backyard has a number of bird feeders and is a favoured place for squirrels.
Another coincidence? Definitely not.
4
The number of single, divorced people living in The Sack. So far, they have not dated each other.
For blog purposes, one hopes this will change.
4
The number of Dougs. This includes Big, Little, Computer and Rental. Little Doug replaced Doug That Moved. Rental Doug is still a tentative name and could change. We'll let you know.
4
The number of homes with two or more cars. This is quite impressive, really. One would think it would be a higher number. But, then again, Sack people tend to spend most of their time, well....in The Sack. We really don't have anywhere else to go.
3
The number of people born outside of this country. There are considerably more born on other planets. This includes me, but I don't wish to discuss it right now.
3
The number of teachers who live in The Sack. Curiously, none seem to like children very much.
1
The number of people who have died while a resident of The Sack.
1
The number of widowed people in The Sack. See above.
1
The number of homes with perfect grass. Take a bow, Big Doug.
0
The number of ideas I have left for this post.
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