Slip, Slap or Punch?

Mrs. Wonders and I decide to view television together.

The only program that captures Mrs. Wonders' attention is a reality show on CNN. Contestants are required to stand in the midst of a raging hurricane while yelling into a microphone. Apparently, the last one standing is considered the winner.

Mrs. Wonders can't decide who to root for. But she hopes this Anderson Cooper chap will blow away in the first round.

***

Above the din of a screaming contestant, we hear the unmistakable striking of human flesh. This is followed by brief, but angry cursing.

These sounds are coming from The Sack.

***

Instinctively, we rush to the front window. As usual, Mrs. Wonders is there first and enjoys the best vantage point.

Over her shoulder, I see a couple from across the street leaving their car. The passenger door on the driver side is ajar. A man is kneeling on the driveway beside the open door.

He's in considerable pain. Even from our vantage point, we can hear him moan.

***

Curiously, the couple is indifferent to the man's plight. They walk casually up their front steps and enter the house. They do not look back.

By this time, the man is on his feet. He's limping badly and in obvious discomfort. He follows the couple into the house.

***

Mrs. Wonders and I are deeply unsatisfied. We're unable to develop a full narrative of what has taken place. There are loose ends here.

***

It is too late in the evening to converse with other correspondents in The Sack. Gordon is asleep at the switch as his front window sits empty. At least for tonight, we must tackle this one alone.

***

We review the gamut of possibilities.We know the three people travelled home together.We assume the injured man is a friend or relative of the couple. What happened next is pure conjecture. We come up with the following:

• The man was assaulted by the husband as he left the
  car. The wife approved.
  
  

  He was assaulted by the wife. The husband
  approved.
  
  

  He fell as he exited the car. Both husband and wife
  approved.
  
  

For the next hour, we explore possible motives. We go over the sequence of events again and again.

***

Over an hour passes before we've exhausted all possibilities. The television remains unwatched. In jest, we talk of quitting our jobs and starting a detective agency.

We could work from home.

***