Sunday Chores

Ah, Sunday.....the day of rest and relaxation.....even more so in these parts, for there is none of the dreaded Sunday shopping.

But there is one task for this day. We must tidy up the miscellaneous bits of Sack business that have gathered during my hiatus in Upper Canada.

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Firstly, Tropical Storm Ophelia proved to be much ado about nothing. Thankfully, she dissipated nicely as she approached our neck of the woods. Mrs. Wonders and I spent the afternoon unbattening the hatches of the homestead.

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The word 'ado', mentioned above, reminds us of young Doo. I am told that Doo had several spectacular spills on his bicycle during my absence. Both were of the kind where Doo screamed like a banshee and brought Sack residents to their doors.

Mrs. Wonders was first on the scene of the initial crash.

Poor Doo suffered cuts and bruises to his head. This might not have happened had he been wearing a bike helmet. As noted here before, Doo used to have a penchance for riding through The Sack, clad only in a helmet. When fully clothed, he seems to have little use for it.

The second spill resulted in cuts and scrapes to his foot and ankle. Doo was wearing a helmet this time, but was riding barefooted.

While speaking with Doo today, I noticed that his head injuries did not, unfortunately, result in any improvement in his diction or pronunciation.

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The leaves are starting to turn colour in The Sack, an obvious harbinger of the winter to come. Big Doug has been observed cleaning his snow shovels in anticipation. Not only is he a master of tool maintenance, but Big Doug is a man who takes snow shoveling very seriously.

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Dirk and Dora, the unfortunate owners of Burning Manor were seen in The Sack last week. Sources say they performed a 'drive-by' of the condemned dwelling.

Gordon is threatening to write a letter to the editor, if the duo decides to rebuild in The Sack.

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Oscar returned this afternoon, full of tales of debauchery from France. He recalls being asked to leave the Moulin Rouge in Paris, but remains foggy about the details.

As a token of friendship, Oscar presented me with a cigarette lighter. The Eiffel Tower is etched on the side of it. When the lighter is opened, the Eiffel Tower illuminates in red, white and blue. Then the French national anthem, La Marseillaise, plays at a considerable volume.

I am giving serious consideration to taking up cigarettes again.

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Computer Doug and his wife, Marion left for Toronto on Friday. They were going to see U2 in concert. Computer Doug arranged for some relatives to look after his children for the weekend. The relatives are staying at Computer Doug's home.

Earlier today, one of the relatives came to our door. Mrs. Wonders says he wanted to know if we had any aspirin. Apparently, it was not for the children.

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