Bad Moon Rising

When we fall down in life, it's important to get back up again.

We need to dust ourselves off and get back into the swing of things. It's not always easy, of course, but we have to make an effort.

Just like Dirk and Dora.

***

Oscar and I convene in my front room for drink.

It has been a busy week in The Sack and we have much to catch up on. We will not be holding our show tonight because we have no guests. It's raining out again, so we're unlikely to have any drop-ins.

As soon as I met at Oscar at the door, I could tell he carried important news.

Whenever Oscar has something very important or very funny to say, he has a tendency to bounce up and down a bit. If his head is bobbing, Oscar has something very interesting to tell you.

Oscar's head was bobbing violently when I opened the door.

***

Oscar works from his home. As a result, he spends more time in The Sack than anyone else. There are more crazy things going on during the day, Oscar says, than many people imagine.

Yesterday, Oscar looked out the window and saw a peeler car parked in front of Gordon's house. Naturally, he decided to investigate.

It seems that Gordon's security alarm had gone off several times and an investigation was now under way. While one peeler checked things out, the other chatted with Oscar for a while.

***

Somehow, their discussion included a mention of Burning Manor. That's when the peeler said, "Dirk and Dora are moving back."

The peeler said Dirk and Dora will be watched very closely.

Then he told Oscar that Dirk and Dora were a good example of the problems that occur when people of a "lower socioeconomic order" begin to "infiltrate the next level." In these affluent times, he went on to say, this is no longer just a phenomenon.

Oscar thinks the peeler must be taking some part-time university courses in sociology or criminology.

He said, "I think the guy has been studying too hard."

***

So Dirk and Dora are coming back.

"Better the devil you know." said Florence, when she heard the news.

It didn't surprise me to hear this from Florence. She is a very practical person. She puts snow tires on her car every year without fail.

***

Gordon is not aware of this news about Dirk and Dora.

We've decided to tell him tomorrow. Oscar says Gordon deserves at least one more good night's sleep.

The Sack Resident's Society meets next weekend. Gordon will no sooner become the Society's leader when he must face his first crisis. What, in the name of the heavens, can be done about Burning Manor?

Nothing. Dirk and Dora are just getting back on their bike after a big spill. It might not be the way I might do it, but they're just doing what they think is right.

Personally, I wouldn't move back to the same neighbourhood after being firebombed. Even if I considered it, I'd at least speak to my neighbours about the fire and give them some reassurances about the future.

At least that's what I think I would do. Sometimes we don't know what we're going to do until something happens to us.

***

Still, it's not a good sign when the peelers are your source of information about what's new with your neighbours.

***

After delivering the Burning Manor news, Oscar became uncharacteristically subdued. I asked him if something was on his mind.

Oscar was silent for a moment. Then, in slow halting words, he said quietly:

"I think I'm getting man boobs."

An uneasy silence hung in the air.

"Really?"

***

Oscar says he has put on a few pounds lately. Apparently, these have gone straight to his breasts. He was lying down the other day and says he suddenly noticed "some cleavage."

Closer inspection lead to the discovery of the "man boobs." Oscar says this has been on his mind for two days.

"Can you notice them?" he asked.

He stood up in the middle of my front room, holding his head up and standing tall.

"No," I said quickly, "You could fool me."

***

Starting on Monday, Oscar says he's going to do twenty push-ups a day. He expects his "man boobs" to be gone by Christmas.

If they're not, Oscar says he should be exempt from snow shoveling for the rest of the winter.

I remain very doubtful about this.

***