The rebuilding of Burning Manor has been proceeding very slowly. The construction crew is very small and they've only managed to work a few days this week. Only the basement has been completed so far. Heavy rain and high winds have put a damper on any faster progress.
Oscar swears he saw Elizabeth performing a rain dance in her backyard the other day.
This could be true.
***
The second meeting of the Sack Resident's Society took place on Saturday afternoon.
It was originally going to be at held at Gordon's place, but there was a last minute change of venues. Gordon had arranged to have his sofa and chairs steam-cleaned on Friday. Unfortunately, the furniture was still damp on Saturday.
According to Gordon, there is nothing worse than a wet bum.
***
Ben and Norma graciously offered the use their home for the meeting. Since they usually do their grocery shopping on Saturday afternoon, Norma said she wouldn't be able to offer her normal appetizers to the assembled residents. She said she would have to improvise.
***
Ben is a senior cook with the military. Apparently, there are several fringe benefits that come with such a position. One of the benefits is an occasional windfall of free food. On Thursday, Ben said he took possession of a case of German sausages.
The sausages became the one and only hors d'oeuvre served at the second meeting of the Sack Resident's Society.
In their wisdom, Ben and Norma served the sausages to each resident on a paper towel. Sack people may not be the most sophisticated folks in the world, but most have some sense of decorum. No one seemed quite sure about the most appropriate way to consume a German sausage served on a paper towel.
Fortunately, Little Doug is very fond of sausages. He wasted no time in wrapping the paper towel around the bottom of his sausage and eating it as he would a banana.
Eventually, almost everyone began to eat their sausage in this fashion. The only one who didn't was Elizabeth. She excused herself to go to the bathroom. She took her sausage with her. When she returned, the sausage was gone.
Oscar went to the bathroom just before the meeting ended. He said there was a sausage floating in the toilet.
This could be true.
***
So the meeting began with people eating German sausages in a banana-like fashion. Oscar said this made everyone look like primates. At certain points in the meeting, some people sounded like primates as well.
The first order of business was the long-awaited selection of a chairperson for the Sack Resident's Society. As expected, Gordon was the one and only candidate. He was thrilled to accept the position.
He made a brief acceptance speech. It was a polished and well-crafted oration. He pledged to provide leadership, accountability and action. The Sack, according to Gordon, would not be lead into the wilderness on his watch.
He said this with a smear of grease on his chin and a small piece of sausage on his upper lip.
***
A good portion of the meeting was devoted to the matter of Burning Manor.
Gordon introduced the draft of a letter he had written addressed to Dirk and Dora. It was written on the Sack Resident's Society's new letterhead. The Society's logo is very prominent on the page. The logo features the soaring image of a turkey vulture.
The letter was polite and to the point. It told Dirk and Dora that Sack residents are very upset with them about the fire at Burning Manor. More important, it said, Sack people are angry about Dirk and Dora's decision to move back. The letter ended with a warning that everyone will be calling the peelers at the first hint of shenanigans at the rebuilt Burning Manor.
***
The letter inspired a heated debate.
Gordon and Elizabeth were strong proponents for sending the letter to Dirk and Dora. It was, they argued, the only possible way of communicating the Society's displeasure.
Others felt it would only create more problems. Florence said we could be "fanning the flames" by sending such a letter. Oscar said Florence's comment was the best pun he'd heard all year. He made a motion for a special commendation from the Society for this. Gordon pretended he didn't hear it and the debate continued.
Others, such as myself, argued that it was best to just leave things alone. We should assume that Dirk and Dora have learned something from the Burning Manor affair and hope they will govern themselves accordingly. This would also allow room for better relations between them and Sack residents.
***
In the end, it was decided that a vote would be held.
Oscar was the last person to speak before the vote. He made a passionate plea to vote against the letter. While making an emphatic point about the matter, his sausage slipped out of his hand and landed in the lap of the woman beside him. It was Oscar's third sausage of the day.
The woman beside him was Lucinda. She lives in the Sack with her female partner. This was the first time she has attended a Sack gathering. Hopefully, it won't be the last.
Little Doug thought it was very funny that a phallic-like object would fall in the lap of a lesbian. He fought so hard to contain his laughter that he started coughing. He coughed so much he had to leave.
Little Doug typically has a coughing fit when he's bored. It's how he makes his exit. In this case, he was really coughing. But it was because of the sausage landing in a lesbian's lap. Little Doug has a very odd sense of humour.
***
The motion to send the letter to Dirk and Dora was defeated by a single vote. Gordon was very upset because he knew Little Doug was in favour of the letter. If Little Doug was still there, it would have been left to Gordon to make the decision about the letter.
Gordon is already angry with Little Doug because of the mess in Little Doug's yard. Now Little Doug has added insult to injury by missing the vote. It would not be surprising, Oscar says, if Gordon has a draft letter to Little Doug on the agenda for the next Society meeting.
***
As Sack residents filtered out of the meeting at Ben and Norma's home, we were met by two disconcerting discoveries.
A forlorn, broken tree branch lay in the Sack's centre circle. This is the third broken branch in as many weeks.
Down the street, a familiar car was parked in front of Burning Manor. It was Dirk and Dora checking on the progress of their new home.
Gordon says it can't be a coincidence that Dirk and Dora would be around at the same time that another tree branch has been broken. To his credit, he's not suggesting they had anything to do with the branch.
It is simply, according to Gordon, a very bad omen.
This, I'm afraid, could be true.
***
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