It's time to start to sweeping it up.
***
Christmas lights are slowly making an appearance in the Sack.
Rental Doug was one of the first to turn his on. This, of course, flies in the face of Oscar's contention that Rental Doug is in league with Satan.
Not surprisingly, Oscar was unimpressed with Rental Doug's apparent Christmas spirit.
"It's all just part of his plan." Oscar said. "The guy throws up a few measly white lights on his porch stairs. It's exactly what Satan would do if he was just trying to fit in."
***
Young Doo stands accused of breaking the third tree branch in the Sack's centre circle in as many weeks.
If found guilty, it will be Doo's second crime against nature. He broke the first branch, as well.
***
Jimbo, Tremayne's twelve-year-old brother, has fingered wee Doo as the culprit.
He identified Doo immediately when questioned by Gordon. Gordon, of course, is now the official Grand Poobah of the Sack Resident's Society.
Jimbo, on the other hand, is quickly becoming the Sack's official mole within the ranks of neighbourhood children. He was quick to identify his own brother in the case of the second broken branch.
***
Not surprisingly, Gordon is beginning to hold Jimbo in very high esteem. Recognizing an asset when he sees one, Gordon says he's thinking of making the boy a deputy in the fight against shenanigans in the Sack.
***
According to Jimbo, he saw Doo playing street hockey by himself on Saturday. In Doo's case, this means he was simply running about with a hockey stick without any apparent reason.
Apparently, Doo began wielding his stick like a drunken Musketeer. At some stage of the thrusting, paring and slicing, Doo struck the ill-fated branch with great authority.
Jimbo said Doo sprinted for home as soon as the branch broke. He has not been seen outside since.
***
When the evil crime took place, Jimbo was riding his bike repeatedly around the Sack's centre circle. He seems to engage in this vaguely autistic behaviour with some regularity.
Oscar thinks it's just a ruse for Jimbo's surveillance work.
***
Mulva, I am sad to report, has returned to South Korea.
Florence says she left early on Sunday morning. Mulva had been in the old town since September in order to learn English.
During her stay in Canada, Mulva seemed to go through a transformation. She arrived like a shy, awkward school girl. When she left, according to Florence, she looked like a different person.
Florence says Mulva wore a pair of black leather pants, her hair was embellished with funky braids and there was no shortage of make-up on her face.
***
Mulva told Florence she had a "super" time in Canada. She also made a lot of "super" friends. She was definitely going to come back some day.
"Super," Florence reports, is Mulva's favourite English word by far.
***
Oscar thinks Mulva learned most of her English partying at a few "super" clubs in the old town's downtown quarter.
This is probably true.
***
Ben and Norma left for an unscheduled trip to Edmonton last night. Sadly, Norma's grandmother passed away.
Oscar was stunned when he heard this news.
"Exactly how old was Nana?" he asked me.
I was wondering about the same thing. Norma is over fifty-years-old. How old was Nana, indeed.
***
Ben told me Nana was ninety-eight when she died. This is very impressive.
Someone sent a sympathy card around the Sack for people to sign. Unaware of the first card, someone else passed around a second card.
Oscar says he signed the first card, "Thinking of you during this difficult time."
When the second card showed up at his house, he signed it, too. In this card, he wrote, "Still thinking of you during this difficult time."
***
Ben saw Oscar and I chatting on my driveway before he left for Edmonton.
He asked if we would keep an eye on his house while he and Norma were away.
"Of course," Oscar replied, "And if someone burns your house down, we'll make sure we get it on videotape for you."
***
When Burning Manor was torched, Ben recorded the blaze with his video camera. One of the local news stations used Ben's tape when they reported on the fire.
Ben laughed at Oscar's comment. Then he glared at him.
***
Finally, rumours about the identity of the father of Britney Bitterman's future child are beginning to surface.
According to Weed, word on the street is pointing to a nefarious character named Maxwell.
Maxwell, Weed says, is a young man from the local area. He is reported to be a dentally-challenged lout with a strong aversion to work. These qualities haven't stopped him from already fathering one child with someone else.
Making child support payments is not something Maxwell is reported to be very good at, either.
***
Oscar says Mr. and Mrs. Bitterman must be horrified if this news is accurate.
Mrs. Bitterman is already suffering from a nasty fight with menopause. Mr. Bitterman is still recovering from a gallbladder attack.
"I will be very surprised," Oscar says, "if they put up any Christmas lights at all this year."
***
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