In the Sack, just like everywhere else, it's a time to reflect on the events of the previous twelve months.
But unlike everywhere else, it is also a time for a very particular reflection.
It is a time to give thought to the annual Doug of the Year award.
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Oscar and I staged a conference in my front room on Saturday evening. We were equipped with drink suitable for the occasion.
Choosing the recipient of the Doug of the Year award requires a considerable amount of clarity, concentration and intellect. Mostly, however, it requires drink.
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Oscar and I have been handing out the DOTY awards since 2000. That was the year we met. It has been a tradition ever since.
There isn't an actual award, of course. It's more of a title to be worn by a deserving Doug. It's similar to the Order of the British Empire or our country's Order of Canada. The only differences are, our award only lasts for a year and there is a lot less politics involved in the selection.
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Sometimes the winner doesn't even find out about his victory.
If the victorious Doug happens to drop by our show during 2006, he will be duly informed of the honour. If he doesn't happen to drop by, he'll remain oblivious to the achievement.
It's a fairly casual award, I must say.
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The DOTY is given to the most notable Doug in the Sack over the past twelve months. Notable can include a particularly memorable hijink, an endearing or odd quality, or a pattern of amusing behaviour. We're quite flexible in the overall criteria for the award.
This year's decision is expected to be very difficult. This is the first year we've had four Dougs to choose from. There were only three Dougs in the previous years.
Selecting an appropriate winner, as you can imagine, is a very big responsibility.
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The task on this evening was to review the candidates and their escapades during the past year. We weren't going to make any decisions about the winner. It would be folly to make a decision in one evening.
This is only the preliminary phase of the selection process.
After Saturday, both of us will give deep and private consideration to each candidate. Our final decision is always made on Boxing Day. This is when Oscar holds his annual Boxing Day Brunch.
Debating this decision often causes Oscar to host a Boxing Day Dinner.
Prolonging the debate seems to be Oscar's way of extending the seasonal celebration.
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In 2000, the first award was bestowed upon Doug That Moved.
He had moved away from the Sack in 1999. Oscar said that most awards are given to people posthumously. It's a way, he argued, to show respect for those who have passed on.
I'd never met Doug That Moved, so it was hard to argue against him.
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Little Doug was the winner in 2001.
As the newest Doug, he brought a sense of freshness to the whole Doug scene. He was also very good at fixing things around the Sack, especially at our houses. This quality, alone, carried him a long way.
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In 2002, Big Doug's carpet-like lawn lead him to victory.
When we witnessed him patiently measuring the length of his grass with a pocket ruler, we knew he would be a strong contender for the award. But using plutonium as a lawn fertilizer really put him over the top.
Big Doug's skill with a snow shovel was also noted.
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Little Doug returned to the podium in 2003. A single event lead to his second DOTY honour.
Oscar and I went golfing one day with Gordon and Little Doug. During the game, Little Doug hit a nasty slice down the right side of the fairway. Gordon happened to be walking ahead. The ball hit him squarely on his left bum cheek.
Gordon started dancing in pain. He gave a spectacular performance with his frenetic rhythm, agility and imagination.
Little Doug was recognized as the choreographer of Gordon's riveting dance.
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Last year, Computer Doug was an easy, unanimous choice. In 2004, he managed to attend eight major concerts in three different cities. This included seeing U2 twice.
Prior to seeing the Stones this year, Oscar had been unsuccessful in getting away to a concert for ten years. Computer Doug managed his concert feat despite having a spouse and two very young children.
During 2004, Computer Doug was travelling in his job almost constantly. In accepting the DOTY honour, he said he had no choice but to find ways to be entertained while he was on the road. Going to the concerts, he claimed, was the least he could do.
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Throughout the evening, Oscar and I considered each candidate very carefully.
Not surprisingly, he was quick to dismiss Rental Doug's chances for the award. Oscar said he would be very reluctant to give such an honour to one of Satan's soldiers.
I pointed out that even Time Magazine has named a scoundrel as its Person of the Year. In the end, he agreed to give Rental Doug due consideration.
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In the coming week, we'll give a detailed review of each Doug and their chances for the DOTY award.
Writing things down often makes a tough decision a little bit easier.
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