Monday, December 26, 2005

Gifts of the Season

Boxing Day is always like a Sunday in the Sack.

The shopping laws prevent any feverish commercial activities until the second day after Christmas. So, it's a day where people slowly emerge from their homes after a day of relaxation and indulgence.


It's almost like a day to stretch and loosen up.

Sack kids make their reappearance in the street after a twenty-four-hour hiatus. Some will bring out their newly-acquired gadgets or spiffy, new sporting devices. Other kids will be proudly wearing a new coat or hat emblazoned with the logo of their favourite hockey team.

The kids will banter about in the Sack's centre circle for a while. Sometimes, a half-hearted game of street hockey will erupt. Invariably, they'll end up playing video games together at someone's house.

From the outsider's eye, it can look like there is very little going on in the Sack on Boxing Day.


But there is always something going on.


***
Young Doo made a conspicuous appearance in the Sack's centre circle this morning.

Santa Claus, it seemed, had given the young lad a very impressive new snowsuit. It was, to say the least, a very thick, heavily-insulated outfit. Doo looked like a dwarfish Michelin Man as he staggered into the street.

The colour of the snowsuit also drew one's attention. It was a deep, metallic-blue and was liberally adorned with the age-old emblem of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

There was no mistaking young Doo's hockey allegiance.

***
The best part of Doo's new snowsuit was the hood. It tightly enveloped his face, making his cheeks and chin look a little bit squashed.

The sides of the hood were vertical and flat, while the top was even and horizontal. It made his head look like it was in a box.

Oscar said he could easily rest a drink on top of Doo's head without spilling a drop, if he wanted to. He actually wanted to give it a try, but fortunately, Doo's mom was around.

***
Oscar's boy, Dorian was outside playing street hockey for a short time.

According to Oscar, the boy was a bit miffed about one of his Christmas gifts. It had been sent from a relative in Cape Breton.

Dorian had inspected the gift very closely prior to Christmas. Somehow, he spied a small tear in the wrapping and was convinced he had read the word "Microsoft." He was certain he was going to receive a game for his Xbox contraption.

***
Unfortunately, the hopeful relative had given the boy a microscope. Oscar said Dorian was unable to mask his disappointment on Christmas morning.

His disappointment deepened when Oscar tried to explain what a microscope was used for. Oscar thinks it's now unlikely that Dorian will win a Nobel Prize some day.

"At least, not in the science category," he added.

***
Big Doug was outside trimming the snow banks around his driveway.

It hasn't snowed for two days and his snow banks were already the envy of those who care about such things.

But Big Doug was simply trying out his new shovelling gloves.

The new gloves look like suede oven mitts which extend up to the elbows. The palms are reinforced with a thick layer of tough leather.

Oscar says they're the kind of apparel worn only by professional snow shovellers.

***
Weed made a brief appearance outside the Little Doug household.

He was going over to a friend's place to fix the new MP3 player he'd been given for Christmas. He said he'd only been able play one song on it since Christmas morning. The Little Doug household was crowded with out-of-town relatives and Weed said he needed some tunes to "tune them out."

He tried listening to the same song over and over again, but he said he was getting bored of it. Even worse, he said, the song was now starting to get stuck in his head.

***
Oscar was very sympathetic to Weed's dilemma.

He had a Bob Marley song stuck in his head for the two days just before Christmas.

"At least, you know the name of the song in your head. I didn't have that luxury," he told Weed.

He hummed a few lines of the Marley song, but Weed couldn't figure it out, either.

Oscar says he still hasn't had a chance to talk to Computer Doug about the song. He's certain that Computer Doug will know the title.

Fortunately, Oscar no longer has the song stuck in his head. He said drink seemed to take care of it on Christmas day. He still remembers the song, of course, but now he's "in control of it."

***
Ben and Norma drove into the Sack while Oscar and I chatted on my driveway.

They were returning from a visit with Ben's mother. Ben said he received some terrific Christmas gifts this year. The best one, however, was something he didn't receive.

Ben endured a colonoscopy two days before Christmas. The experience, he said, has left him with a fine appreciation for any day without a colonoscopy.

"A day without a colonoscopy is a gift in itself," he said.

***
The gift of peace may have found its way to the Bitterman household.

Britney Bitterman's unexpected pregnancy threw a curve at the family fortunes, but this seemed to get ironed out just before Christmas. Now, it seems like Britney's new beau, Maxwell has been welcomed into the family.

Mr. and Mrs. Bitterman came out their house, quickly followed by Britney and the infamous Maxwell. The four of them got into Mr. Bitterman's car and drove off. As they passed us, Mr. Bitterman even offered a half-hearted wave.

***
So Christmas, it seems, has brought some kind of harmony to the Sack.

The Bitterman clan seems to be at peace. Big Doug now has the kind of shovelling gloves fit for a man of his ilk. Doo's new snowsuit is so tight and stiff, it would seem impossible for him to break any more tree branches in the Sack.

"Ben's bum," as Oscar likes to put it, is now safe from further intrusions, at least for the time being. Weed's MP3 player will certainly be repaired and the song stuck in his head will be released.

Oscar says Dorian will survive his disappointment at receiving a microscope instead of a Microsoft product. Hopefully, he says, Dorian will regard it as a life lesson that things are not always as they seem.

***
Oscar and I turned to go into his house. It was almost time for Boxing Day Brunch. This is when the Doug of the Year deliberations must begin in earnest.

As we walked toward his house, we noticed Gordon and Elizabeth having an animated conversation in front of Gordon's house. She was pointing emphatically at the new Burning Manor.

We quickened our pace toward Oscar's front door. If we lingered any longer, Oscar said, the Sack's newfound harmony would surely be broken.

***

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