***
Little Doug is drawing no small amount of attention with his reported plans for Christmas dinner.
Oscar tells me that Little Doug is planning to serve a turducken to his extended family on Christmas day. If this news is accurate, it will be the first turducken ever consumed in the Sack.
This will be hard to ignore during the DOTY deliberations.
***
So far, the most exotic meat to find its way into the neighbourhood was from a moose.
Several years ago, Little Doug and Ben, along with a few mutual friends, went hunting together. They came back with a rather bewildered-looking, dead moose in the back of Ben's pick-up.
Vegetarians in the Sack were appalled.
***
According to Oscar, Little Doug's extended family was at odds over the main course for their Christmas meal. Half were in favour of turkey, but the rest savoured duck.
Little Doug's daughter, Daisy heard about the turducken concept from her gynecologist.
It seems there is no limit to the body of knowledge held by the modern gynecologist.
***
When asked about the turducken matter, Weed fell into convulsive laughter.
It wasn't so much the absurdity of the turkey, duck and chicken combo, according to Weed, it was the word "turducken." He thinks it's a very funny word.
Weed said there is a very good chance he'll wet himself on Christmas Day, if someone asks him to pass the turducken.
That would be something worth seeing.
***
Oscar is also enthralled by the word "turducken." Instead of laughing about it, he has started to use the word as an expletive, rather than a descriptive noun.
Yesterday, he told his boy, Dorian to "clean up that turducken room of yours before you go out to play."
When asked if the boy obeyed his demand, Oscar said, "You're turducken right he did."
Mrs. Wonders and I will be having a small turkey for our Christmas meal.
***
The most surprising development in the world of Dougs has nothing to do with any recent Doug achievement or folly.
Oscar's suspicions about Rental Doug have been well documented. Simply put, he thinks Rental Doug is in serious cahoots with Satan. This, of course, has virtually eliminated him as a contender for the DOTY award.
Oscar still has nagging bouts of Catholicism. It would seem impossible for him to give Rental Doug a fair assessment.
Yesterday, however, everything changed.
***
Oscar dropped the biggest bombshell seen in the Sack since Burning Manor was reduced to cinders back in August.
He is now actively touting Rental Doug for the DOTY honour.
Unfortunately, the change in Oscar's position is more strategic than sensible. He gave a lengthy diatribe about the importance of intelligence-gathering, planning and something he called, "subversive intervention."
Winning the DOTY award is sure to get back to Rental Doug, Oscar said. Inevitably, he'll become curious and start to interact with us. The closer we get to him, the more we'll find out about the Devil's business.
***
I said to Oscar, "So, what you're saying is, know thine enemy."
Oscar considered this for a moment.
"No." he said thoughtfully, "It's more like better the devil you know, than the devil you don't."
I'm beginning to think Oscar has lost his turducken mind.
***
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