Funky Town

It's a quiet night in the Sack.

More Christmas lights have appeared. A few houses even have some flashing, coloured lights. It makes them look like little casinos.

But at least these folks are trying.

***

I ventured out of the Sack to engage in some Christmas consumer activity.

At the local shopping emporium, I ran into Oscar. Both of us, it seemed, were on the same mission. Oscar had a list of suggested gifts from G.W., his wife. Mrs. Wonders had provided me with a similar list.

Oscar's list was a bit more specific than mine. Some of the items on his list included pictures pasted from sale flyers and catalogues.

Oscar said he was confounded by the final item on his list. He had been searching for this gift for the last hour. Unfortunately, there wasn't a picture included for this one.

According to his list, G.W. wanted a "funky, multicoloured winter hat, with ear flaps and a tassel."

***

He said he found numerous multicoloured hats during his shopping expedition. Some of them, Oscar said, could have been described as funky. He even found one multicoloured hat with a tassel.

But it didn't have ear flaps and it wasn't very funky.

***

Oscar did find a few hats with ear flaps. But none of them were multicoloured and only one had a tassel. Unfortunately, this one wasn't wasn't even close to being funky.

If a funky, multicoloured winter hat with ear flaps and a tassel really does exist, Oscar claimed, it must do so in a place other than the old town.

***

"I've had enough of this." Oscar said, as he looked around the crowded mall. "I think I'm going to buy her some expensive perfume, instead."

This is not the first time Oscar has bought expensive perfume for his wife at Christmas. He says he usually buys it for her every year.

G.W. likes perfume very much, but it's against her sensibilities to pay so much for it. As a result, she will never put it on her Christmas list. Instead, according to Oscar, she will put something impossible on her list. Oscar will become so frustrated trying to locate the item, he will overcompensate by buying the perfume.

"This way," Oscar said, "she still gets the perfume, but doesn't end up feeling guilty about it."

One day, he says he'll actually find the so-called impossible item. He thinks G.W. will be a bit miffed when this day comes.

***

When I returned home from my shopping endeavours, I was met on the driveway by young Doo.

He was standing in the snow armed with his trusty hockey stick. He tends to use it more as weapon than a sporting device.

As usual, he was wearing his hockey helmet. In the winter, he wears a hat under the helmet. In the warmer weather, the hockey helmet sees double duty as a bike helmet.

Doo's mom is a big fan of the helmet. She knows how to strap him into the helmet and Doo doesn't know how to take it off.

Doo asked me if I would help him take his helmet off. He said it was too hot and his mom was sleeping right now. Since I was quite sure he wouldn't be riding his bike in the snow, I decided to help him take it off.

When the helmet was removed, I was surprised to see Doo's winter hat. It was a multicoloured affair with ear flaps and a tassel.

"Where in the world" I asked him, "did you get such a funky hat?"

***