Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Hump Day Tales

Another cold, but snowless day passes by in the Sack.

***
Oscar continues to refer to the regrowth of Burning Manor as "Dirk's Erection."

He was already admonished for saying this on the Sack Resident's Society's email group. This has only encouraged him to continue with it.

During an impromptu gathering at the curb today, Oscar used the phrase in front of Florence, Elizabeth and Little Doug. Florence covered her mouth for a moment and then started laughing. Elizabeth looked like she'd just been punched in the stomach. Little Doug wasn't sure what to do, at first. Then he started coughing and stumbled home.

***
Weed has a new job.

After weeks of recovery from his last work gig, he has taken a job at a dreaded call centre. Oscar doesn't think Weed will last there past January.

It was very surprising to hear this about Weed. Structure is not something he's very comfortable with. He prefers things to be flexible and with a low tempo. Multitasking, in Weed's world, is smoking pot and drinking beer at the same time. Goals are something scored in a hockey game. Achievement means growing a potent marijuana plant.

I think Oscar is probably right.

***
Oscar and I spoke briefly with Weed yesterday afternoon. He pulled his car up beside us while we stood at the curb.

He was returning from his new job. It was his third day.

Weed was wearing a wrinkled white shirt under a jean jacket, along with a pair of black pants. On his feet were brown shoes. His tie was silver with purple stripes. I'm pretty sure it was the clip-on type. He said he borrowed it from Little Doug.

Weed says he's been "in training" all week. He's been sitting in a classroom every day learning about "some electronic stuff."

Weed looked defeated, as well as very stoned.

***
Maxwell, Britney Bitterman's new beau, has made his first appearance in the Sack. In addition to being her new man, he is also reputed to be the father of her unborn child.

Oscar has taken to calling him Maxwell Ne'er-do-well. It makes him sound slightly foreign and exotic, Oscar says.

Outside of going to prison, I'd be surprised if Maxwell has even been outside of the old town.

***
Britney and Maxwell were spotted by Norma during the day yesterday.

Norma and her husband, Ben are now home from Edmonton. Her ninety-eight year-old grandmother passed away last week.

Norma said the couple walked up the middle of the street together. They were holding hands and heading toward the Bitterman house.

Norma didn't think anyone else was a home at the Bitterman house. Britney's parents were probably at work. Her brother, Jason is away somewhere selling Christmas trees.

This has lead to speculation about whether Mr. and Mrs. Bitterman know about Britney's pregnancy and the existence of Maxwell N'er-do-well.

***
Oscar says 2006 is shaping up to be a banner year in the Sack.

"We may see a wedding, if Weed and Daisy can get things together." he said. "We'll also see a major explosion when the Bitterman's meet their new son-in-law and their new grand-child."

"Finally, and most importantly, we'll get to see the grand unveiling of Dirk's Erection."

***

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