The Christmas lights were reeled in and stored in a sturdy box. His mechanical reindeer were herded back into the garage. Lastly, the decorative wreath was plucked from its prominence on the front door.
It was like Christmas had never happened.
***
With Christmas safely packed away in its appropriate place, Gordon's attention will now shift to the properties around him.
Sack residents who delay in removing their Christmas decorations are the bane of Gordon's existence. Everyone in the Sack is well aware of this.
This is precisely why some will leave their decorations up as long as possible.
***
Little Doug is infamous for his inattention to such matters. He doesn't do this to annoy Gordon. He just doesn't pay much attention to picking stuff up or taking things down. Some people are just like that.
Little Doug is well known for taking his Christmas lights down during the promising warmth of a day in June. That's when he usually starts thinking about his summer projects. He'll take a walk around the house to get ideas for the projects and will suddenly notice the lights. Taking down the lights usually becomes his first summer project.
One year, Little Doug didn't take his lights down at all. Oscar tried to convince Gordon that it was all part of Little Doug's fervent Christmas spirit.
Not surprisingly, Gordon didn't agree.
***
Oscar, of course, is no slouch in the tardiness department. Last year, his Christmas tree sat on his back deck until May.
On the afternoon when he finally put it on the curb for collection, a long line of pale, brown needles strung a path toward Oscar's back yard. At the curb sat the seven-foot skeleton of Oscar's Christmas tree.
Sack kids were outside that evening, horsing about on the street. One of the kids threw a soccer ball at the hapless tree. A few branches snapped and scattered about the road.
The rest of the kids noticed this and were intrigued. The tree now held their collective attention. Quickly, they pounced on it like a school of piranhas. The tree was strewn about the street in a hundred pieces. It looked like twigs had rained down from the sky.
***
Gordon, of course, was fuming when he saw the mess.
He stood in his front window for almost the entire evening. He just stood there with his arms folded across his chest. That's what Gordon usually does when he fumes.
Oscar had no choice but to clean it up. He made his son, Dorian help. They were outside sweeping for more than forty-five minutes.
This year, Oscar bought an artificial tree.
***
Rental Doug still has a Christmas tree on his front porch. He also has one propped up in a planter box on his front yard. A third tree stands in his livingroom. You can see it from the street.
Oscar thinks it's strange that someone would have three Christmas trees. He says it's "a lot of dough to spend on trees." I would have to agree with him.
On the other side of the main road nearest to the Sack, there is a protected, wooded area. It surrounds a small, but impressive lake. Oscar thinks Rental Doug went over there and cut down a few extra trees for himself.
It's a plausible theory.
***
If it's true, it will be the first evil deed Rental Doug has committed since moving to the Sack in August. Naturally, Oscar thinks it's clear evidence of Rental Doug's Satanic bloodlines. This, of course, is not a very plausible theory.
It's far more likely that Rental Doug was just trying to put on a good show for his blended family. He went a bit overboard during Halloween, as well. So, maybe he's just trying too hard.
***
If there is any outdoor item that needs its owner's attention, it would be the lawn mower that remains in the middle of Little Doug's side yard. It has been there ever since he broke his ribs last summer.
Gordon, of course, remains livid about it, but there's nothing he can really do. He has made some offhand remarks to Little Doug, but it hasn't worked. Besides, Little Doug tends not to respond well to criticism of such things. He might be short in stature, but he's long on stubbornness.
***
Oscar thinks Little Doug should declare the wet, rusting lawnmower as a piece of outdoor art. It would be a work that depicts the decaying, collective soul of those who inhabit the modern suburb.
Over time, Oscar said, we could add more artistic works to the collection. The lonely, unused basketball net on Oscar's driveway would be testimony to childhood obesity. Big Doug's lawn could be a homage to obsession and Gordon's webcam to compulsion.
The Sack could become a living, breathing, outdoor art gallery.
***
Oscar says an art gallery would be a good way to bring in some extra money. He said he would even be willing to turn his house into a bistro that would attract the old town's artistic set.
He could fit a few tables on his back deck, but the main, "sidewalk cafe" would be on his driveway. People could sit in the cafe and admire the Sack's outdoor art collection. At night, Oscar said he could have some decorative lights around the cafe.
Better yet, he could just leave his Christmas lights out all year round.
***
4 comments:
We have a lawn mower sitting in our front lawn as well. it seems that eventually my little brother plans to leave it on some poor girls doorstep.
Oh, I hope it's not a girl he's trying to impress...unless, of course, he tells her it's a priceless work of art...then he might be okay...
Then Oscar should stop calling them "Christmas lights," and start calling them "bistro lights."
I don't know how it plays out in the maritimes, but here in the states, it seems that the only way you can keep your lights out year 'round in the bistro mode is if they're the tiny white lights.
Oscar strikes me as the multi-colored, chasing/twinkling lights sort.
Yeharr
Yes, the white lights would be the same here. Gordon actually has his "bistro lights" in his backyard. He puts them out in the summer, but strangely, takes them inside in the fall.
And you've pegged Oscar - definitely coloured and twinkly lights for him. Cheers.
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