Sugar Daddies

Sack news has been accumulating again. If we don't start catching up on it, we're going to fall behind.

And nobody wants to fall behind.

***

Little Doug has diabetes.

He just found about it this week. He says he's going to have to "pull up his socks" in the areas of eating and exercise. More important, he has to give up drinking Pepsi.

Little Doug loves Pepsi. He says he drinks it pretty much all the time. Until now, he says it was working quite nicely for him.

"But those days," he said sadly, "are over. "

***

Little Doug says he has to go to diabetes classes next month. He'll learn more about proper nutrition and how to live with diabetes in a healthy way.

This will be the first time in many years, according to Little Doug, that he has taken a class of any kind. He's planning on doing some reading about diabetes so he doesn't "look like a moron" when he takes the classes. Apparently, Daisy is going to find some information on the Internet for him.

***

Little Doug is on a bit of a losing streak, as far as health matters are concerned. Not so long ago, he cracked some ribs and then, in a separate accident, broke his wrist. Although he remains in good spirits, he told us that a black cloud seems to be flying around him lately.

He said he's thinking of hiding in his bedroom until the black cloud flies away.

***

Oscar and I were chatting at the curb outside Little Doug's house. Our respective garbage cans had been blown across the street during the night. The old town has experienced very windy weather lately.

Suddenly, we heard a window open and then the sound of Little Doug's voice. The window was open just enough for Little Doug to poke his head out. He was in a second floor bedroom window.

This is when Little Doug told us about his diabetes. He also wanted us to locate his garbage can for him. He thought it might be somewhere on Gordon's property.

Little Doug said he would do it himself, but he couldn't go out because of the diabetes. Apparently, he's supposed to take it easy for a while.

Oscar thinks Little Doug might actually mean it, when he says he's thinking about hiding in his room.

***

If you were walking around the Sack on Thursday and suddenly felt the ground shaking, you can be assured that it wasn't an earthquake.

The vibrations were caused by Elizabeth when she discovered the state of her front lawn.

The reconstruction of Burning Manor is continuing. The exterior work has been completed and they've just begun to work on the interior. On Thursday, two large trucks arrived to deliver a load of drywall. Both were equipped with cranes. The sheets of drywall were picked up and then passed through the second story window.

Unfortunately for Elizabeth, the trucks were a bit sloppy when they backed into Dirk and Dora's driveway. Elizabeth's lawn borders this area. She now has a muddy ditch running up that part of her front lawn.

To say she was miffed would be a great understatement.

***

The construction company said they weren't responsible for the damage to her lawn. They said the company that delivered the drywall was accountable for it.

Elizabeth says she'll be calling the drywall vendor, but also told the construction company that they'll be hearing from her lawyer.

The whole Burning Manor thing just isn't going away for Elizabeth.

***

Elizabeth was already upset earlier in the week.

Hurricane-force winds blew through the old town on Tuesday night. In the Sack, a few items were blown around. Elizabeth, unfortunately, lost a small piece of siding from the side of her house.

Various people saw the piece of siding as it first started to blow around the Sack. But the next day, it was nowhere to be found. Now Elizabeth needs to find a new piece and then reattach it to her house.

Burning Manor recently received its new siding. The house is now the same colour as Elizabeth's. Naturally, Elizabeth is threatening to tear a three-foot piece of replacement siding from the walls of Burning Manor.

It's not going to take long for things to turn ugly when Dirk and Dora move back to the Sack.

***

It looks like the recent equilibrium in the Bitterman household is starting to deteriorate.

Oscar tells me there was a daytime blow out between Britney and Mrs. Bitterman this week. Britney went storming out the house with Mrs. Bitterman hot on her heels. Apparently, Mrs. Bitterman was ranting from the porch, even though Britney was still thundering her way down the street.

Maxwell, candlepin bowling prodigy and father of Britney's unborn child, has not been seen around the Sack for the last three days.

Weed told Oscar that Mr. and Mrs. Bitterman have now taken a strong anti-Maxwell position. This has created friction for Britney as there had been talk of Maxwell moving in with them to help support the baby.

Weed learned about this directly from Maxwell. Even though Maxwell has not been welcome at the Bitterman home, this hasn't stopped him from hanging out in the Sack's vicinity. Weed has talked to Maxwell each day this week at the local coffee cathedral. Apparently, the coffee cathedral is the new head office for Cutlass Supreme Painting, Maxwell's fledgling business.

According to Weed, the Bittermans are upset by Maxwell's apparent idleness in gaining re-entry into the work force. Maxwell, of course, is indignant about the whole matter. It's not his fault, he explained to Weed, that he hasn't been able to acquire the Cutlass Supreme he requires to get his business going.

It's unfortunate, Maxwell says, but his hands are tied.

***

Weed also said that Maxwell makes Oscar seem like a rank amateur when it comes to the consumption of the coffee cathedral's maple sugar donuts. If he doesn't watch himself, Weed says, Maxwell's going to end up with diabetes just like Little Doug.

Weed says he's quickly becoming an expert on diabetes. He spent the whole week observing Little Doug resting in a prone position, while Daisy has launched into an extensive Internet search for information on the subject.

Daisy has started talking about changing their own diets, so they don't get diabetes themselves one day. Weed says he's certainly in favour of this, but wants her to slow down the implementation plan. He said he's made too many life changes lately to make room for another one.

By life changes, Weed is referring to his decision to accept a job at a local call centre.

***

Finally, young Tremayne made his first sales call of the year this week.

The young Grade One student is the Sack's preeminent charity chocolate bar entrepreneur. He sells the bars on behalf of his older brother, Jimbo. This time, Jimbo's class is planning a trip to Quebec City in March. Tremayne thrust an information sheet at me when I asked about this.

Tremayne doesn't care very much about the purpose behind the chocolate bars. For him, it's all about the sale. And, of course, it's about the chocolate, too.

***

Since he last appeared at the Wonders' door, Tremayne seems to have honed his salesmanship skills. When I opened the door, he asked if I would like to buy two chocolate bars, rather than the standard offer of one.

When asked why one would want to buy two chocolate bars, he simply explained that chocolate bars are good. It's hard to disagree with that.

Oscar tells me that Little Doug is one of Tremayne's best customers on the chocolate bar circuit. He thinks Tremayne's business will be hit hard by Little Doug's diabetes diagnosis.

After Cutlass Supreme Painting, Tremayne's chocolate bar trade is the second Sack-related business to have its difficulties this week.

And, of course, that's not even considering the loss of sales facing Pepsi in the very near future.

***