Cleanin' Out the Pockets

What exactly is lint? As usual, I had to pose this important question to the wise ones at Wikipedia.

Among other things, lint is an accumulation of clothing fibers found in pockets and washing machine filters. I suppose I already knew this.

However, I didn't know that lint is also known as "flooze." That's what Wikipedia says, so it must be true.

The comings and goings in The Sack also seem to accumulate over time. Just like lint. So one might say it's time to clean the flooze out The Sack's pockets.

***

Oscar left yesterday for a two-day work trip. He tells me it's an annual event held about five hours away from the old town.

In truth, Oscar says, there is very little work involved during the two days. Mostly, it's an exercise in drink consumption and miscellaneous hijinks.

Oscar says the trip can be best described as a perversion excursion.

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Gordon will undoubtedly be acclaimed as the chairperson of the fledging Sack Resident's Society next month.

He approached Oscar earlier this week to discuss Oscar's interest in the leadership race.

Gordon said he'd heard from a reliable source (me) that Oscar had chairperson aspirations. Oscar admitted he was under pressure from "lots of people" to run, but had now decided that Gordon was the best man for the job.

According to Oscar, Gordon was speechless. He was similarly stifled when Oscar offered to not only nominate him for the position, but to act as his first lieutenant in leading The Sack to cul de sac greatness.

All of this, of course, is a ploy. Oscar says he's going to infiltrate and influence the Society's leadership in true undercover, suburban anarchist fashion.

***

Young Doo seems to have acquired a new behavioural problem.

He has discovered that rocks are inexpensive and readily available playthings.

Several times this week, Doo has been sitting in the centre of The Sack with a pile of fist-sized rocks. He seems greatly amused as he bangs them together, scrapes them on the curb and, ultimately, throws them violently on the pavement.

When Doo goes home, he leaves the jagged rocks strewn about the road.

***

On Saturday, Doo appeared to be holding his own rock-a-thon. He was out there for about three hours, pounding, scraping and smashing his precious rocks. According to Mrs. Wonders, he almost hit three cars (including the Wonders' little Honda) and almost gave another kid a concussion.

***

Gordon was the first adult to speak to Doo about the rock riot.

This comes as no surprise, as Mrs. Wonders says Gordon had been on duty in his window for almost the whole day. Sometimes he just stands there waiting for something to happen.

After Gordon told him off, Doo just sat on the curb looking forlorn. After a few minutes, he picked up a rock absent-mindedly and began to scrape it slowly and softly on the curb.

Within moments, he was playing with the rocks again at full-throttle.

***

Doo was soon getting heck from Florence. I watched one his rocks ricochet off the pavement and almost hit her car. She was unloading groceries from it at the time. She was more than a little ticked about it.

Once again, Doo sat in the centre of The Sack with a repentant look on his face.

Then he went back to smashing rocks.

***

Mrs. Wonders comes from a family of eight. She knows what works when kids misbehave and what doesn't.

She went outside and informed Doo that his rocks would be confiscated if he was seen with another one in his hand. When Doo claimed he hadn't touched any "wocks", Mrs. Wonders invoked his mother's name.

Doo went home with his arms folded across his chest. I think he might have been mumbling to himself, too.

***

Rental Doug now has a carved pumpkin on each one of the six steps leading up to his porch. In the early evening, a lit candle is placed in every one.

Oscar says, "Only a true friend of Satan would have that many pumpkins."

Ben and Norma tell me that Rental Doug and his blended family are regular church-goers. I mention this to Oscar, but it has no impact. He says he's going to buy necklaces bearing a gold cross for everyone in his family. If I have any common sense, Oscar says, I should do the same.

***

Finally, Elizabeth seems to have the most elaborate and spookiest Halloween decorations on her house.

This is very curious, since she seems to have some dislike for children.

It could be that she takes great pleasure in scaring the crap out of them.

***