Saturday, October 15, 2005

More Loose Ends

It is raining steadily in The Sack today, therefore it's Saturday.

Nevertheless, we must locate our proverbial broom and sweep up the bits of loose news items that have transpired during the week.

***
I am pleased to report that Doo has successfully returned from his debut in organized hockey.

Despite the rain, he has been walking around The Sack wearing a bright orange hockey jersey, black hockey pants and bare legs. He has a hockey stick in his hands, but he's carrying it over his shoulder as if marching off to war.

I'm not quite sure what he's doing out there, because there are no other kids around.

***
Things remain very quiet on the Burning Manor front.

At least two weeks have passed without an appearance by Dirk or Dora. The last bit of news suggested that Burning Manor would be torn down and rebuilt very soon. There has been no indication so far, that this will occur.

Elizabeth informed me that Dirk is claiming that two people were arrested for setting Burning Manor ablaze. She heard this information from Ben and Norma.

Oscar and I are doubtful about this. We would have expected to read about it in The Daily Snooze or The Chronically Horrid.

***
Oscar has been trying to find out the web address for Gordon's webcam. Despite admonishment from his wife, B.W. and Mrs. Wonders, Oscar wants to renew our plan to place a threatening mannequin on Gordon's driveway.

Oscar wants me to go over to Gordon's house with him to talk about the Sack Residents' Society. While we're there, he wants to ask Gordon to show us the website, on the grounds that both of us are interested in setting up our own webcams.

I asked Oscar why he can't simply do this himself.

He confessed that his eyesight has deteriorated to the point that he won't be able to read the web address on Gordon's computer. Oscar has needed reading glasses for the last two years, but stubbornly refuses to get his eyes checked.

Oscar says this will be our first clandestine mission in our roles as undercover suburban anarchists.

I told Oscar that Mrs. Wonders and I will be too busy over the weekend. But I have offered him the use of my reading glasses.

***
Little Doug's broken ribs are healing nicely. He dropped by our show the other night for a quick guest appearance.

He had justed returned from the hospital. Earlier in the day, he slipped on his wet front steps and broke his wrist. Now he has a big white cast on his left arm. And two broken ribs.

Oscar and I were in stitches.

***
Several Sack homes have been adorned with Halloween decorations.

Florence has a big pumpkin on her porch. She says it's more of a "celebration of autumn" than a Halloween decoration.

Unfortunately, Florence says that young Doo has come to her door several times asking for candy. She has tried to explain to him that it's not Halloween yet, but Doo keeps pointing at her pumpkin.

***
Rental Doug was the first resident to put up Halloween decorations. He has placed a small skeleton on his front door. There are also various decorations on his front window.

Oscar says this is a sure sign that Rental Doug is in cahoots with Satan. He wants to reopen the debate about Rental Doug's name.

I told Oscar that if he could get some forensic evidence from the skeleton, I would be willing to reopen the debate.

***

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