Knock Me Down

A new chapter in the Burning Manor saga begins. . .

***

I return to The Sack from work on Friday and see something which wasn't there when I left in the morning.

A bright yellow excavator has been plunked on the front lawn of Burning Manor. An equally-bright, orange snow fence has been erected around the excavator.

Oscar says the snow fence was erected to prevent Elizabeth from using the excavator to knock Burning Manor down herself.

***

Sack sources (those who are home during the day) report that Burning Manor will be dismantled down to its foundation beginning on Monday.

According to the chap who unloaded the excavator, it is unknown whether Dirk and Dora are returning to The Sack. He said the demolition was supposed to begin last week, but Dirk couldn't be found to sign some papers relating to the demolition.

For some reason, the excavator guy was under the impression that Dirk was a pilot and was away frequently. Sack residents were greatly amused by this. Dirk does, in fact, work at the airport, but he's employed as a baggage handler.

***

Elizabeth came home just when the excavator was being unloaded on the lawn of Burning Manor.

Given that she had to pay a five hundred dollar deductible to repair her siding after the fire, Elizabeth is determined to "take what's mine" from the remanents of Burning Manor.

***

Elizabeth has a very nice back deck. Unfortunately, the deck does not have stairs leading to her backyard. Burning Manor has stairs attached to its back deck. The stairs weren't damaged during the fire.

Elizabeth has decided that Burning Manor's back stairs would be appropriate reimbursement for the five hundred dollar insurance deductible.

***

The excavator guy told Elizabeth, "If the stairs aren't there on Monday, you can be sure that I won't know anything about it."

Elizabeth has decided she now has authorization to dismantle the stairs and have them attached to her deck.

***

Elizabeth informed Mrs. Wonders about her retribution plan and asked if I might assist in dismantling Burning Manor's stairs. She was, according to Mrs. Wonders, a bit "miffed" when told her plan could be viewed as theft.

Mrs. Wonders says Elizabeth is now planning to ask Big Doug and Little Doug for their assistance.

We have made a friendly wager about their responses to Elizabeth. Mrs. Wonders thinks they will aid and abet Elizabeth in her dastardly plan. I'm doubtful about it. While both Dougs have little time for Dirk and Dora, Elizabeth's plan is probably too indiscreet for their tastes.

***

Big Doug is well-known for his ability to purloin building materials. When the last houses in The Sack were being built, Big Doug would make clandestine visits to the building sites to acquire materials such as drywall, interior doors, plywood, shingles and moulding.

It has been many years since Big Doug has stepped inside a home improvement store.

***

So Mrs. Wonders and I will be watching over the weekend to see if Burning Manor's stairs suddenly become attached to Elizabeth's back deck.

The loser of our wager has to buy a chocolate bar from young Tremayne.

***