But first, we must dispense with an accumulation of Sack news.
***
During the mid-week, young Doo was seen striding resolutely through The Sack with a hammer in his hand.
Doo is quite enamoured with tools. Should he learn to use them for the public good, he could have a bright future ahead of him. Only time will tell.
A few years ago, Doo received a set of plastic tools for his birthday. They came in a bright, red plastic tool belt. Unfortunately, he was very dissatisfied with the gift. Doo only likes real tools.
***
Yesterday, I spied Doo riding about The Sack without his hockey/bike helmet. I asked him where his nifty new helmet was. Doo told me the helmet was boken.
I told Doo that I would be happy to have a look at it for him. Perhaps, I could get my tools and fix it.
Doo shook his head vigourously. "Nope", he said. "It's really boken."
I think I've discovered what Doo was doing with the hammer earlier in the week. He's also smarter than I thought.
***
Gordon has apparently placed a webcam in his front window.
According to Oscar, Gordon can now see what's going on in front of his house even while he's at work. The webcam is linked to his personal webspace.
Oscar and I think Gordon is getting very close to losing his noodle. With this in mind, we've been thinking of ways to inch him closer. Our best idea, so far, involves the placement of a fully-dressed mannequin on his driveway. Hopefully, Gordon will see it while he's at work.
It will be a good test of his new security system.
Oscar has a female mannequin in his garage. We will have to make do with it. We've agreed to dress the mannequin in a trench coat (I have one) and a fedora (Oscar has one). We're going for a Humphrey Bogart look. Bogie's right arm will be placed inside the front of the coat, as if he's reaching for his weapon.
I have no intention of asking Oscar why he has a female mannequin in his garage.
***
Unfortunately, our plan has met a substantial roadblock.
Mrs. Wonders and Oscar's wife, B.W. joined us on the show last night. Both agreed that our plan is very funny, indeed.
But only funny, opined Mrs. Wonders, if devised and carried out by two sixteen year-old boys. B.W. concurred with this assessment.
Neither of them think it will be useful for us to mess with Gordon's noodle. So, our plan has been placed on the back burner for the moment.
***
On The Sack's front burner, once again, is Burning Manor.
The latest news says that Dirk and Dora do, in fact, plan to return to The Sack. Apparently, the ruins of Burning Manor will be torn down in about three weeks. A new home will be built and then Dirk and Dora will move back. It's said they want to rebuild, because they like it here.
I gleaned this information in the usual way.
Ben and Norma, who bought their house from one of the ministers, were speaking directly with Dirk. Ben told Big Doug, who mentioned it to Doo's mother. Doo's mother told Gordon, who, after having a minor stroke, informed Elizabeth. Elizabeth cornered Mrs. Wonders and I on our driveway, as we prepared to go out for groceries, and told us the whole story.
***
Elizabeth lives next door to Burning Manor. She had to pay a five hundred dollar deductible to replace her siding after the fire. Even before the fire, she had the most run-ins with Dirk and Dora.
She's had confrontations with them about their dogs, their parties and, naturally, about the infamous friends of Burning Manor.
Elizabeth says she plans to "stick close to home" next week, in case she sees Dirk in The Sack. She intends to give him "a piece of her mind" about the duo's plan to return. Based on the spittle flying from Elizabeth's mouth, Dirk is in for a big surprise.
I've made a mental note to check how many vacation days I have left at work. This might be worth hanging around for.
***
Personally, I'm of two minds about the return of Dirk and Dora. On my logical side, I am strongly aligned with Elizabeth and even, God forbid, Gordon. I would prefer that the gruesome couple haunt some new and unsuspecting cul de sac.
From a blogging perspective, however, I'm seeing new possibilities.
***
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