Political Party

The term, peace, order and good government is a long-held, basic tenet of Canadian society. It's a decent way to approach communal life and, generally speaking, it seems to work.

In The Sack, peace and order are highly valued. We're just not as sure about the good government thing.

***

The unthinkable has happened.

Mrs. Wonders went to lock the screen door last night and found a flyer tucked into the door handle.

The flyer announces the inaugural meeting of a Sack Residents Association. The meeting will be held outdoors on Saturday in the centre of The Sack. A barbeque is planned for after the meeting.

***

The proposed agenda for the meeting is listed on the flyer. Apparently, there are a number of issues affecting folks in The Sack. The agenda lists the following concerns:

• Noise


• Development


• Burning Manor


• Garbage


• Kids


• Parking


• Anything else that pisses you off.

Okay, I made up the last one. But it will likely be addressed at the meeting, anyway.

***

Gordon has been talking about a Residents Association for a long time. Now his plan is being put into action. The contact number on the flyer is Gordon’s.

Oscar and I, of course, are mortified. No good, he says, can come from organizing suburban people.

“They’re gonna make rules.” he says. “That’s the problem.”

***

We agree that an association could only be useful for one thing: To represent The Sack in matters that go on outside The Sack.

Outside matters would include development of adjacent land and its associated noise. And that’s all.

***

Gordon views it differently. So do some other residents. They’d like The Sack to have rules, regulations, standards and norms. They might also want a Sack constitution and a bill of wrongs.

Six months into The Sack’s future: Oscar has not left his house for several days. He had received four Sack Infraction Notices prior to this. He and I are in frequent, frenetic telephone contact.

He received his first infraction for having grass longer than the Residents Association limit. He got the second when he left his empty garbage cans at the curb for too long. The third was related to some uncollected dog poop.

After the third infraction, Oscar began walking about The Sack denouncing “President Gordon” in a loud voice. At the time, he was wearing a bath robe and carrying open drink.

This was how he earned the fourth infraction.

***

Oscar says he doesn’t recall the details of the last infraction. The dog poop, he says, did not come from his dog. He claims he can prove this “in a court of law.”

He refuses to acknowledge the first two infractions.

***

Oscar says he will soon be ready to leave his home again. He is busy planning a Sack Revolution.

He’s still putting the finishing touches on his manifesto.

“There’s a hockey game on tonight.” he whispers. “So the manifesto should be ready by supper time tomorrow.”

***

He asks if I will be his lieutenant in the struggle against the Residents Association.

I reply that I will gladly walk beside him. We will unite in the good fight.

But I have to work late tomorrow, I say, and Mrs. Wonders and I have a few things to do after that. When I’m finished, I utter confidently, he can depend on me.

***

So The Sack Residents Association Meeting and Barbeque will be held on Saturday. Oscar and I plan to attend.

Oscar thinks we have the chance to become “suburban anarchists”. If we infiltrate the Association, he claims we can quietly steer everyone toward free, respectful choice.

And at the very least, Oscar says, there will surely be free drink at the barbeque.

***